I swear this picture is relevant

Chuck
See? I'm talking about NBC series Chuck and that's Chuck star Yvonne Strahovski who plays Chuck's it's-complicated love interest/super spy Sarah Walker on Chuck. Also, that picture is of Yvonne playing Sarah on an episode of the show Chuck. Really, I'm having a lot of trouble understanding why the show is struggling with ratings. This interview with executive producer Chris Fedak outlines that, while not totally dead, the series' future isn't totally secure either -- no matter what this Hollywood Reporter article seems to indicate.

Team Ico
If you've ever played either Ico and/or Shadow of the Colossus then you'll probably be very excited about the idea of a) a movie based on Shadow... and b) both games being bundled up and given the PS3/HD treatment. Too good to be true you say? Check this out.

He’s back…
Remember the dude who did a 70-minute Phantom Menace review (that was totally right)? Here he is with his 90-minute Attack of the Clones review. I gotta say, I'm finding it way easy to get through this one. Also -- creepy undertones aside -- how does he know all these busty, saucy-cute chicks? All my Star Wars interests ever netted me was shame and a beat up C3-P0 action figure... without the original packaging.

Inception
Here is an article that contains some spoiler-y info on director Christopher Nolan's upcoming psychological/science fiction film, Inception. I don't know what that info is because I didn't read the article as it contains spoilers. As much as I adore both of Nolan's Batman films, it's his non-Batman stuff that I really look forward to -- and this seems to be another amazing bit of work. Well, based on what little I know, of course.

And finally…
Here's the Resident Evil Afterlife teaser. Look, I'm not saying that the Resident Evil films featuring Milla Jovovich are any good. The first one was okay. After that, they suck, sure. But I just have a thing for her looking intense, blowing post-apocalyptic shit up, shooting zombies in their brain-eating pie holes and being a badass. If that is wrong, I don't even want to live next door to right.

Action movie asplosion

Expendables
Another trailer for Stallone's insanely packed to the tits ensemble action flick, another out of the park dinger. This time things feel a little more serious -- so that means no Eric Roberts or Dolph "Fucking" Lundgren to be found. This movie looks pretty badass. So much so, they give up it's huge Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis cameos in the promo. It's almost like the cameos were not essential in any way to the success or failure of the film and could be cast aside on a whim. Man, I wish there was a shorter way of putting that.

A-Team
Speaking of teams of dudes finding different ways to explode expensive items and fire off some high caliber weapons, here's the second trailer for The A-Team. Still looking like silly fun, although I kinda agree with Topless Robot that Face and the boys need to stop "laughing irritatingly at their own antics."

Salt
Angelina Jolie will do anything to clear her name in her upcoming action-spy film Salt. She will wear dry looking wigs. She will initiate multiple-car highway devastation. She will give herself up when everyone is expecting her to kill that guy from Serenity. I think I may have even seen her swim at one point. Check out the new trailer and see.

And finally...
Considering they completely dubbed over the guy's voice in his first starring role, it's pretty awesome that this video of 160 of Arnold Schwarzenegger's best quotes exists.

Spider-Man, Walking Dead, Fringe and more

Fringe 101
As I've mentioned, I like Fringe. It's a solid show with a solid cast who play solid characters. Other reasons include: my nerdy love of the occult and "fringe" science, it's smart science fiction and, also, see picture above. I was really happy to hear that Fox gave the show an early confirmation of a third season pick-up. Fox is also upping its support ante (surprisingly) by setting up this Fringe 101 site in advance of the show's return from break on Thursday (April 1). The site features any and all info that viewers new to the show or those thinking of finally checking it out should know --  including what the creators consider the four episodes of the series that you need to see. Seriously, guys, it's a good show. Check it out.

Walking Dead
Zombie movies? Played. Zombie adaptations of classic literature? Ugh. AMC's adaptation of zombie comic Walking Dead? Fuck yeah.

Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions
Spider-Man video games haven't been the greatest. Shoot, even Activision's CEO admits it. That doesn't mean they're just going to throw in their web-shooters and give up, though. Enter, Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions, the latest gaming incarnation of the Wall Crawler. Looks, uh, interesting?

Lazy Teenage Superheroes
This kid made this video for, like, $300. It's sort of a parody of Heroes. Main differences: 1) it's good and 2) I actually want to watch this on a weekly basis.

Knight and Day
This action-comedy thing starring Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz is strange. Like, strange as in kinda off, like the smell of fried liver. It sort of feels like it should be a movie within a movie or something like that. I don't know, is it just me?

And finally…
Instant CSI. That is all.

And the latest Bond girls are...

Bond Girls
Actually, they aren't official. Not even close actually. But rumor has it that the next Bond gals are Olivia Wilde and Freida Pinto. Or they may be. Okay, probably not. Thanks, Slashfilm. I would be very okay with this occurance if, indeed, it actually was true. I'm going to assume Pinto is the nice one and Wilde is the naughty one? Do they still do that in Bond movies? Nevermind, this isn't happening. More likely Bond rumors that also involve a lady are whispers that Rachel Weisz may be onboard the 23rd 007 flick... as the villain. That could be fun, no?

Enslaved
Ninja Theory is a games developer. They are from Cambridge on the Shadow Isle (AKA: the United Kingdom.) They put out the sadly ill-timed and very misunderstood (in my opinion) Playstation 3 exclusive Heavenly Sword -- a game that managed to blend beauty and brutality with the silky tones of Anna Torv's voice and the legendary motion capture acting of Andy "Gollum" Serkis to create some sweet gaming action. Again, that is my opinion. Now, Ninja Theory is back and, once again, are looking like they've got another unique and pretty-looking gem on the go. It's called Enslaved and it's based, in part, on an old Chinese folktale called Monkey. That said, it takes place in a post-apocalyptic future that reminds me of crazy '70s Sci-Fi in the vein of Omega Man and A Boy and His Dog. It also features interesting gameplay that's reportedly reminiscent of Ubisoft's 2008 Gyllenhaal-free version of Prince of Persia. See for yourself.

Nerd scores
I like a good film soundtrack. Always have. In fact, a (partly) unrealized goal of mine is to score a film. Art student films don't count. How about a science fiction film? Yeah, I'd like to do one of those. Would LOVE to. Over at Topless Robot, they put together a list of 13 great nerd movie scores by people other than John Williams -- and I think they pretty much nailed it. Yes, Vangelis' Blade Runner is on there. Omissions I would mention: there's no Dune. Yeah, it's by Toto (of "Africa" "fame") but it turns out those dudes could produce a really moody, dark and evocative piece of music when they wanted to. Maybe David Lynch scared them? Who knows? Also missing: Escape from New York. Did you know John Carpenter hooked up a lot of his own soundtracks? Yeah, he did. The theme (and score) for Escape is pretty damn awesome. Finally, it's kinda weird that Lord of the Rings isn't on there. Yeah, Howard Shore appears on the list, but the Rings stuff needs to be on there. Shoot, I can't imagine those movies without that music. So epic. The '80s anime import/mash-up Robotech (yeah, I know it's not a movie) had an incredibly sophisticated soundtrack, too. You can probably see I enjoy the '80s Sci-Fi soundtracks. That's another reason why I was really blown away when I first played Mass Effect. The game has a real throwback sound (that they did on purpose) and it really hit it home with the universe they've created. The second one is equally trippy with a big ladle of epic sauce slathered all over it.

Hydrophobia
Here's another game that looks potentially promising. Hydrophobia. There's a lot of water in the game. That's what they're selling it on. Still, looks interesting, no?

24
Well, 24 is finally over. Gone. Cancelled. Jack Bauer may go on to saw various terrorists in the face on the big screen but he will never be seen on TV again. What can you do? They had a pretty good run considering it was almost cancelled after its first season. This critic blames the show's restrictive format. Gee, you think? Still, it's probably better to argue that the show's inability to break out of or play with that restrictive format may have been the problem. Oh, and also the silliness.

And finally…
This is what a nerd-gasm looks like.

uhh...

Yeah, so, yeah.

Haven't written in a while for various reasons. There was that whole Mass Effect 2 thing that happened. And working. Oh, and I ate a bunch of meals of food. At some point I got into Chuck somehow. I showered (sometimes). So, I was busy. But here I am again.

Hopefully I can keep this up for a while. That's something I've never had to say before. (Just ask your mom.)

Anyway, if Lucy Lawless talking about genital prosthetics couldn't get me to break my silence, what the fuck could, right?

Lucy Lawless
That new Spartacus show -- have you watched it? I haven't but I plan on it at some point. That's for sure. There's a ton of nudity and graphic sex. Plus crazy action sequences. And also, as Lucy Lawless points out, merkins. Nice.

Bad movies FTW
This movie trailer or collection of scenes or whatever the hell this is really needs to be shared. Same with this one. Enjoy.

This
Really, the title to this film says it all. Not just about the film but about everything.

And finally…
Dungeons & Dragons has sort of had a little credibility Renaissance. I guess all things geek have, right? But D&D is starting to get this whole new sexiness added to it -- like a +1 to its charisma. Is it cuz hot(tish) women are saying that they starting to like it? Maybe. It started with the awesome Dungeon Majesty and soars to its explosive apex like a Melf's Minute Meteors spell (yeah, I went there) with I Hit it with My Axe, a reality web show where porn stars play D&D. Now, notice how that didn't say: "A reality web show where porn stars play D&D that exists solely in the part of my brain that initiates masturbation protocols." It's a real thing, son.

The Boba show

Superman, again
So, the big news today is that Warner Bros. is looking to reboot the Superman franchise... again. That's not news, really. They've talked about it for a bit. Seems no one liked that whole Superman-as-deadbeat-dad reboot. Go figure. Here's where it gets interesting, Warner is bringing in Christopher Nolan as an advisor on how to approach the new film(s). Keep in mind, he's (probably) not going to direct them but help Warner figure out what they should do. Hopefully that won't include making Superman "dark." Dark is Batman's territory, that's why it works for him. Superman is not dark. Also, Superman would not knock Lois Lane up and then bail. Superman saves planets and solar systems from giant planet and solar system-eating robots -- he doesn't stop half-baked real estate scams, no matter how big or how much Lex Luthor has to do with them. Anyway, hopefully things work out for Supes. Oh, the article also mentions that Nolan and co. have begun the script phase for the third Batman film.

24
Does the idea of a 24 film excite you? Then prepare to get even more excited. Are you prepared? Hmm? Good. Turns out the long-talked-about 24 film may happen. I might even go see that if it does.

Star Wars
That whole Star Wars live action (possibly) cable TV show is starting to gel. It sounds interesting on paper, I guess. Darker, more character driven, well written. Let's believe it when we see it but it just might work. I mean, I was skeptical about the Clone Wars and I kinda like that show. Although, this one is being billed as "Sopranos meets Deadwood in space" and apparently features a young Boba Fett "making his way in the universe" while dating a Twilek prostitute. Two out of three facts in that last sentence are true. Having trouble picking them out, aren't you?

EA busy
Electronic Arts is a big corporation. They make some good games, and if they don't they buy the companies that do. At their recent shareholders conference call they announced a buttload of new games and initiatives, including a 2011 release for the new Dragon Age game and Crysis 2, among others. They also mentioned that Dead Space 2 will now be a 2011 release instead of the original 2010 announcement.

And finally…
Hey, remember that EA conference call I just talked about? Yeah, they also announced that there will be something seriously "far-reaching" for Mass Effect coming in 2011 as well. What could that be? A lot of people are saying Mass Effect 3, but how "far-reaching" is that? It's the last part of a planned trilogy, it's sort of the opposite of "far-reaching," no? Could it be an MMO? The Mass Effect universe would definitely lend itself to one of those given all the different cultures and abilities and whatnot. But who knows? I guess we'll have to wait and see.

The Player: Mass Effect 2

Did I mention that I had to go on a suicide mission? Yeah, that is happening. Like, in the next day or so.

One of the things I love most about Mass Effect 2 is its focus on the goal. From the get-go, you know the stakes: Commander Shepard must assemble a team of the galaxy’s roughest and toughest to take on a mission so preposterously difficult, it’s (essentially) a suicide mission.

That’s pretty much the game right there. Yes, Mass Effect had Shepard focused on stopping a single foe as well, but getting from A to B included hours of traipsing about the galaxy exploring planets, stopping pirates, discovering artifacts and being awesome in many different ways. It was a lot of fun, it introduced us to the vast universe of the game and rounded out everything nicely with its sandbox-y feel.

In ME2, pretty much everything you do is about the mission. No more fucking about and chilling with space monkeys: shit got real. (Yes, Martin Lawrence/ Marcus Burnett real.) Once you take on the mission: you spend a lot of time recruiting your 11-member team. Then you spend a lot of time helping them sort shit out so their head can be in the game. When you’re not Mr. or Miss Human Resources, you’re collecting resources and tech to make your ship and weapons awesome enough so that some of you might come home – or at least make it so your enemies regret ever pissing you off.

I keep thinking of two analogies for the differences between the two games.

One is that Mass Effect was like a TV series, lots of breathing room, time to get to know a lot of different characters and mine the minutiae of the universe. ME2 is if they took that show and continued it in a two-hour blockbuster film. It’s concentrated, focused and all the more intense for it.

The other one is simple: Mass Effect was the regular season, ME2 is the playoffs. No more room for mistakes.

And it’s the mission (and 90% of the game’s focus on it) that makes it so. It’s always looming there. And now it’s all that’s left to do.

For my part, I’d say my companions deaths are what’s looming most. I don’t know if we’ll all make it back. I’m not going to say that I like everyone on my team, but I like most of them and there are even some whose deaths would upset me a lot.

All I know is that I’ve done my best, we're well prepared, we're pissed off and no matter what the odds, you should never count me out.

Tell Liara I love her…

Pump Fake: Super Bowl radness

Hi. Long time no see. Or write, as it were, a-ha-ha-ha. Anyhoo. I've been busy. Saving the universe in the 22nd Century takes up a lot of spare time and mental space. I'm sure at some point I'll have had my fill of (space) adventuring, whoring it up with secret (space) agent ladies and shooting various (space) aliens in the face and will maybe start writing this blog again. I'll assume that crushing silence is both all of you shedding quiet tears of joy.

So, yeah, the Super Bowl. Guess, I'll put my two cents in. First off, this was my dream match-up way back when both teams were, like, 5-0. A Manning and Brees showdown sounds just about right and no matter who loses, we all win. (Or something like that.) But yeah, this should be a doozy.

As for a prediction, I'm taking the Colts. Manning is on a tear, the Saints looked unconvincing against the Vikings -- even after, like, 57 turnovers, it still took OT and a field goal to win. So, I don't know. I'm thinking the destiny thing may not happen this year. But who knows? All we can ask is that it's still a game going into the second half, right?

Now, back to killing aliens. Hard.

Only four days left

Mass Effect 2
Well, it's the home stretch now. Mass Effect 2 is out in less than four days. To you, those will feel like four days. To me, they will feel like four eternities squished together and slathered with eon icing. I was holding onto a hope that I might get a review copy delivered before the end of the day but, yeah, no. That's cool. Maybe Monday? If not then, then Tuesday I'll either get a review copy, my collector's edition or both. I know, I sound like Gollum -- and I'll probably look like him when I emerge from my cave/couch weeks from now, having completed several playthroughs of awesomeness. Until I get the game in my grubby little hands, I will watch this launch trailer until my synapses fry -- with tears of joy streaming down my face.

Lost
Hey, are you ready for the return (and final season) of Lost? If you're like me, you can't remember anything about last season and will scramble to (unsuccessfully) catch up as much as possible before it airs. A cool thing about the show's impending return is all the fun viral-y stuff hitting the net. Like this and this. Enjoy!

Cable
Why is cable TV better than network? Hey, how about because there's going to be a Walking Dead TV series and one for George R.R. Martin's A Game of Thrones, too.

And finally…
Japan. It's a hell of a place.

Pump Fake: Heading into the semis

Well, the Cowboys are out. They deserve to be after that shite performance. On the bright side: my ulcer can rest – at least until the World Cup in June, anyway. Bright side part deux: the Chargers are out, too. Sweet! I guess what bugs me more about the Cowboys-Vikings game was that it was a bad game that could have been really awesome. Oh well.

(Record: Last week: 2-2; Total: 5-3)

NY Jets vs. Indianapolis Colts
Here’s the thing: Yeah, the Jets are this sexy, wild Cinderella ride right now. And yeah, it would be something else to see them beat the Colts (again) and cruise into a seemingly destiny-filled Super Bowl appearance. Who wouldn’t want to see that, right? But, hey, friends, Cinderella rides suck when they don’t go all the way into the station and – I may be completely wrong here – but I don’t think the Jets have what it takes to beat any of the teams left. Then again, I thought they couldn’t beat the Chargers either. Still, there are a few things that make Indy extremely dangerous in this one. 1) They’re riding out their first ever playoff win with Peyton coming off a bye week. And 2) the Colts have something to prove here. That last loss against the Jets sucked and they’re looking to set that straight. Peyton Manning and those dudes are not people you want to piss off. Especially when you were the first team to spoil his perfect season. Especially when it’s just you standing between him and the Super Bowl game. Should be a great game. (And then maybe George R.R. Martin can get back to work on the next A Song of Ice and Fire book he's been working on for, like, 18 friggin' years or whatever...)

Winner: Indianapolis

Minnesota Vikings vs. New Orleans Saints
This one seems simple at first. While the Vikings played a good game, the Cowboys lost that game more than they won it. When you look at the Saints, they destroyed a Cardinals team that was playing full burn. That tells me the New Orleans team that came up with 13 wins this season is back, rather than that New Orleans team that posted three losses. But then there’s Brett Favre, so it gets dodgy. I’m still going to pick New Orleans, because I think they’re the better team and I’d love to see a Peyton Manning vs. Drew Brees Super Bowl. But if the Jets beat the Colts, I’d rather the Vikes win, too, that way the weird flukiness is cancelled out.

Winner: New Orleans

Breaking Bad, Mass Effect 2, Star Trek 2 and more

Fight for the Lost
Okay, guys, it's 15 more sleeps until Mass Effect 2. Yes, it will be the longest, most uncomfortable 15 sleeps of our lives but it's getting close now. Can you feel it? Less than half a month away. Awesome. To drive us even more insane, BioWare has released some cool little vids about a bunch of the characters in the game -- all under the "Fight for the Lost" campaign, referring to the various human colonies that have gone missing that the intrepid Commander Shepard must get to the bottom of. In the video we have the "savage," Grunt, the "assassin," Thane, the "loyalist," Miranda, and the latest featuring the "psychopath" known as "Subject Zero." Good times. Although, the "loyalist and the psychopath" sounds like a morning radio show team. Also, before the holidays, Destructoid ran a cool piece on how the experience of playing through the first game as a female Commander Shepard is not only a better experience, it's the definitive one. I have to agree. I only had one playthrough as a dude Shep, which was refreshing, but not as solid as playing as lady-Shep.

Star Trek
More from Good News Town: Star Trek 2 gets a release date.

LEGO
LEGO video games are the tits. Fun to play (despite some glitches) and they always put a smile on your face. We can all agree on that. But do you like LEGO games enough to be part of a LEGO MMO? That's pretty hardcore, yeah? Maybe this trailer will change your mind.

Breaking Bad
More great news: Breaking Bad season 3 gets a premiere date.

Green Lantern
I realized today that I haven't been covering the Green Lantern movie much. That's because I don't care about the Green Lantern movie much. I have nothing against Ryan Reynolds. He seems like a good bloke. But I don't have anything for him, either. He's kinda just there -- a vanilla-beige collection of meh. Also, I guess I don't put much hope into these superhero films until they're done and I hear good things. And even then, not so much. Anyway, I figured that I need to get my head out of my ass a little more, so here's some GL news: Blake Lively of "Gossip Girl" and boobs fame is set to star as the "love interest." Or Carol Ferris to you geeks out there.

The A-Team
The trailer is here! What do you think? Maybe?

Inception
This has been around for a while, but here's the trailer for Christopher Nolan's Inception and it looks all kinds of weird -- but also all kinds of awesome. Great cast, too: DiCaprio, Ellen Page, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cotillard, Ken Watanabe, Cillian Murphy, and Sir Michael (Fucking) Caine.

And finally…
This CBS David Caruso lookalike contest is kinda brilliant.

Pump Fake: Wild Card weekend into week two

Playoff time in the NFL never disappoints, does it? Some great stuff on the weekend, though not many surprises, I guess.

Breaking things down:

Bengals – Jets: Based on what I saw the week before, I wasn’t surprised that the Jets took this one. They’re playing pretty good football right now and are riding a Cinderella high that may take them past the Chargers next week. Maybe? It would be awesome if that were true, actually. The Bengals were banged up and Chris Henry’s death was a terrible blow in an already tragic season for the team.

Cowboys – Eagles: Yeah, I was pretty happy about this game. Dallas is looking pretty good these days. More important, they look like they know it and they look like they can smell the blood in the Super Bowl tank. Philadelphia is a great team with great players and they had no answer for the Cowboys. McNabb and co. looked completely shell-shocked on the sidelines – it made me laugh a bit. Still, no gloating or trash talking. Don’t want to jinx things. (And, yeah, let’s pretend that whole Jerry Jones high-fiving George W. Bush thing never happened…)

Patriots – Ravens: I took the Pats in this one but wasn’t surprised at how pwn’d they were by Baltimore. Without Welker, New England is just another team whose few weapons can’t outweigh their weak O and D lines. The Ravens are grinders and I would never relish playing those dudes in the playoffs.

Cardinals – Packers: Crazy game. I’m glad the Packers forced it into OT, but what a terrible way to lose. Warner looked amazing and I think he’s looking to possibly end his career in a blaze of glory and out-Favre Brett Favre. I’m sort of feeling a Cardinals – Cowboys NFC Championship game, don’t quote me on that though.

(Record: 3-1)

Okay, this weekend will definitely see some upsets happening. Come on! There’s got to be at least one, right?

SATURDAY

Arizona Cardinals v. New Orleans Saints
The Cards are the hot team going into this and Kurt Warner is definitely on a tear. And, as mentioned before, this team was one defensive series away from stealing the Super Bowl from Pittsburgh last year – so they’re probably pretty damn hungry. The week off (and inevitable rustiness) aside, New Orleans did not look like a 13-3 team by the end of the season. They were slumping and very unconvincing. That said, they’re coached by Sean Payton and quarterbacked by Drew Brees. Those are two dudes who should never be dismissed when discussing the Saints chances at anything. If you’re Arizona, you want to get in there and score pretty damn fast and keep the Big Easy off balance. If Brees and the boys settle in and get their groove, it could be a long night.

Winner: Saints

Baltimore Ravens v. Indianapolis Colts
I think this game will be close. It may even involve one of Payton Manning’s (now) signature ridiculously spectacular comebacks. But the Colts will win. I think the two losses at the end of the season and the total clusterfuck surrounding the first one, will make them angry and out to prove something, more than anything else. The Ravens are – as I said – grinders, and QB Joe Flacco doesn’t choke in the playoffs – but he’s no Payton Manning yet.

Winner: Colts

SUNDAY

Dallas Cowboys v. Minnesota Vikings
Part of me thinks that this one is going to be a blowout for the Cowboys. Then another part of me remembers the horseshoe Brett Favre has inserted in a certain part of his anatomy – and yeah, also that Minnesota is damn good team – and you know it won’t be that easy. Having Marion Barber healthy would make things a lot easier for Dallas, but I think the offense and the defense are well oiled machines right now and can shut things down and get in Favre’s face. For Minnesota, they need Adrian Peterson to be a factor in the game or it’s going to be a long night. If he’s not threatening big runs every play, Favre’s not going to be as effective.

Winner: Cowboys

New York Jets v. San Diego Chargers
Man, I’d love the Jets to win this. I really would. I can’t stand the Chargers. They’re one of the few NFL teams I actually despise. It might just be QB Phillip Rivers, though. I don’t know. Dude, leave the trash talking and fight instigating to the rest of your team. You’re the QB. You need to be aloof and focused, like a Buddha or Doctor Manhattan or a cybernetic god. So, yeah, the Jets – can they do it? Maybe? They’re the Cinderella story and that goes a long way – and it’s not like it would suck to play in the San Diego weather right now, right? But the Chargers have a lot of experience in the playoffs. Also, I think Rivers is the right kind of angry to get to the Super Bowl this year if his team stays focused and healthy. Also, they’ve won 11 straight games. Read that sentence again. Yeah. Sure, a bunch of them are against their division (Denver, Oakland, Kansas City) but still. That’s crazy.

Winner: Chargers

Dragon Age, Zelda, Spider-Man 4 and more

(Thanks, Gamma Squad for the image)

Dragon Age: Origins – Awakening
The whole Dragon Age: Origins expansion pack gumbo -- called: Awakening, if you remember -- is getting spicy and tasty sounding. BioWare has released a pretty sweet trailer and other assets for the package and, if you've played some of the fantastic RPG, it'll probably get the juices flowing. It's late. Sorry.

Zelda
Say what you want about Nintendo Wii. Say its your grandma's favorite console. Say its for chumps and wankers. Stick your tongue out at it. Whatever. Still, when I tell you a new Zelda game is set for this year (!) you're gonna head over to your grandma's and get on her good side.

Spider-Man 4…delayed!
Yep. The next Spidey film is having trouble getting off the ground as director Sam Raimi and Sony execs are squabbling over the script and villains and whatnot.

Call of Duty
The Call of Duty franchise is so damn huge it needs two developers working on it. Massaging it. Minding its mineral bath. Growing it in vats. Etc. That way, businessmen and frat dudes get to pwn each other online 24/7/365 (are we still saying that?) every year. One year, Infinity Ward puts out their crazy popular Modern Warfare version of the title; the next year, Treyarch heads back to World War II for some Nazi-shooting fun. Or do they? While Treyarch's last installment had a secret Nazi zombie level, it was also met with a lot of meh when it was released. Well, this time around the team is looking to shake things up. Large. We're talking venue change large. Scratch that! We're talking potentially controversial venue change large. Rumors are starting up that the next Call of Duty may take place during the Vietnam War. Edgy, right? I think this could be awesome or a total shit show, so I'm kind of bullish on the idea but we'll see. Regardless, y'all should probably leave out the zombies this time around.

YES!!! (but no)
Saruman Christopher Lee has recorded a heavy metal album. Do I need to go on? Listen.

Seanbaby + Steven Seagal = awesome
Gold!

And finally…
Have y'all seen that 70-minute review of The Phantom Menace that's floating around? It's awesome and spot on. Here's an interview with the dude who made it and you can see the video there, too, if you haven't. Then, when you remember how bad the movie/prequels were, you can head here and you'll know what to do...

Rushed

Force Unleashed
I liked the Force Unleashed. Not many people did, apparently. I think expectations for the Sith-y Star Wars game were (understandably) pretty high and fell short a bit. For me, I just liked using force powers and cutting shit up with my lightsaber. Now, though, we're going to need things to get stepped up a bit, right? Can't just be dazzled with a few force throws and saber slices, yeah? On that note: Here's a cool "wish list" for the recently announced sequel.

Dragon Age: Origins
It's a bad news-good news day in the world of Dragon Age today. Bad news: the "Return to Ostagar" DLC that was supposed to launch today has been delayed indefinitely. Boo! Meanwhile, the good news: BioWare has announced a full, 15-hour expansion called Awakening for March. Yay! Seriously, I've played the shit out of this game -- and will continue to do so for a few more weeks -- and it still keeps showing me new twists and turns. I think by March, though, it will be time for some new Dragon Aging and my interest in the game will definitely need an... awakening. Andithankyou.

Hmmm
The Onion's AV Club is some good internet. They offer up a darn good skew on all things pop culture-y. Their head isn't up their own ass but they're also pretty free of fluff, too. It's a nice balance. That being said: AV Club did their games of the year and put (spoiler alert) Batman: Arkham Asylum as No. 1. I have no problem with that, Batman: Arkham Asylum (and most of the games on their list) would be on my best of 2009 list, too -- maybe not at No. 1, but still. I loved that game. Many people did. That's not my problem. What is my problem is that the AV Club said Batman: Arkham Asylum was a “lean” game that “clocks in at around 8 hours.” Uhm, I’m no games wiz admittedly, but I’m (according to the game) 53% of the way through the game and I’ve played over 24 hours. No matter how much I suck, there’s no way someone is cutting through that game in 8 hours. Also, no Uncharted 2 (the game I would put as No. 1 in 2009) on the list. Like, at all. And, according to the comments, it was rated higher by AVC than some games on the list. I call bullshit.

And finally...
Topless Robot takes a look at the ten best Justice League and Justice League Unlimited episodes. The list really drives home what an incredible show it was. Extremely underrated.

Pump Fake: Just in time for the playoffs

Another NFL season is over. Blood is being sopped up with a gritty sponge. Bones are being reset. Tears have been shed. Wings have been eaten. And now we can all look forward to the playoffs – which seem a little odd, to say the least. I missed my chance to do a full season of “Pump Fake” this year, but I’d like to get in on the playoffs if you don’t mind. And yeah, I took some time off and it might seem weird to go with this as my first entry of 2010 and – suck it. I want to write about football. I’m going to write about football.

SATURDAY

New York Jets v. Cincinnati Bengals
I’m curious to see what answer the Bengals have for the Jets after last night’s thrashing. It’s not like Cincinnati was resting people or playing things close to the chest. They just got their asses beat. Can the Jets keep things going – especially if they’re heading into Cincinnati and especially if, well, they’re the Jets? I say… sure?

Winner: Jets

Philadelphia Eagles v. Dallas Cowboys
Another re-do game. Full disclosure: Dallas is my team. That said, I think if Dallas can win this game, they’re my pick for the NFC for the Super Bowl. Hell, I think they might even be my pick for winning the Super Bowl. They’re playing some good football right now. The defense is solid. Romo is throwing well and keeping INTs to a minimum. And the running and passing game is hitting things hard from all over the place. Still, they have to win this next game. And still, the Eagles are the Eagles. I hate them but that’s only because they’re the Eagles and I like Dallas – they’re still a damn good team. And they have the Cowboys number a lot of the time. It won’t be the same Eagles team as yesterday. The team that didn’t get in Tony Romo’s face. The team that didn’t execute. The Eagles will be playing hard and with something to prove. But so will Dallas. The Cowboys exorcised their December and Philadelphia demons but they still have their playoff ones to contend with. Should be a good game.

Winner: Cowboys

SUNDAY

Baltimore Ravens v. New England Patriots
Ugh. This game hurts my head. No one is scared of the Patriots anymore, it seems. And especially not when Wes Welker is gone. But these guys went 11-5 without Tom Brady last year and that tells you what Bill Bellichik implies with his gruff demeanor: it’s not just about the players, it’s about the plays. I’m not always convinced but the Ravens are so hot and cold this year, I think I’ll just go with the “system” and the home team here.

Winner: Patriots

Green Bay Packers v. Arizona Cardinals
Clearly the Cardinals we saw play the Packers yesterday will not be the same team who takes the field on Sunday. They were playing things close to the chest and seeing what Green Bay was all about. Some observations: Kurt Warner is a veteran, Super Bowl winning QB who led Arizona there last year and, save for one miraculous catch, would have won it; Green Bay QB Aaron Rodgers is a playoff newb and one who gets shaky under heavy pressure. He also looks like Ryan from The Office. What does this tell us? I don’t know and I don’t know who’s going to win this game so I’ll guess…

Winner: Cardinals

#Friday

(I think I'm just going to use pics of Yvonne Strahovski whenever there's a Mass Effect 2 piece from here on in, if you don't mind. Hey, she's in the game -- it's topical!)

A video game I’m really anticipating
A new Mass Effect 2 video for y'all. This time it's for the Sentinel class. Cool looking, eh? I usually just play a grunt in ME, but I might try one of these suckers in one of my (many) playthroughs of the new game.

Transformers
Could this be the Transformers video game that everyone has been waiting for? Yeah, trailers are usually bullshit, but this looks pretty promising.

Beatles
I just got Beatles Rock Band a few days ago and already it's one of my favorite things. Putting Rubber Soul out as DLC is only going to make that feeling stronger.

And finally…
In gaming circles, the upcoming release of Final Fantasy XIII is what you would call "a big deal." For me, meh, not so much. Japanese role playing games are too awkward and annoying to turn me on, usually, what with all the emo-looking boy-men and their brooding and the mewling girl-women with their squealing and upskirts (well, maybe not the upskirts) but I'll definitely give it a try. Especially given the mouth-watering visuals it's promising. Look:

Next door to zero interest

Mass Effect 2
Yup. Another one. Another Mass Effect 2 post. Suck it. This time we've got some voice cast news and, well, there are a buttload of people. From Martin Sheen to Tricia Helfer and everything in between including Worf, Jayne and Trinity. Watch this video.

David Lynch
Director David Lynch talks about meeting George Lucas to discuss making Return of the Jedi and the subsequent wookie-related headache that ensued.

Tron Legacy
The first image and poster for the long-time-coming sequel are here. Enjoy, Programs!

Clash of the Titans
As we've talked about, no good can come of the Clash of the Titans remake. Hyperbolic-yet-derivative posters however...

And finally…
Speaking of posters and titans clashing, what happens when you get your Clash of the Titans poster all up in my Sex and the City 2 poster? Genius that can only improve both films.

"Titans... will... CLASH!!" (my caps)

Clash of the Titans
We didn't ask for a remake of Clash of the Titans and, shoot, we certainly didn't need it but it's here, people. It's here and it's angry, it's yelling and -- worst of all -- it will stick you with its giant scorpion tail to the sound of Hungarian metal. Watch the trailer here.

Superheroes
In Dubai anything is possible. If on some crazy and wonderful whim someone in Dubai wanted an island shaped like Donkey Kong made out of angel food cake and to have Megan Fox and Britney Spears wrestle in strawberry sauce on its candy-covered beach to the song stylings of the original line-up of CCR on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and twice on Sundays, they could probably make that happen somehow. So when you hear that they want to have a Marvel Superheroes amusement park with lifelike New York City streets and various forms of Marvel mayhem going on, you gotta believe it'll happen.

Mirror’s Edge
Mirror's Edge is kinda like the Dollhouse of video games. Thanks to heavy buzz, it was expected to revolutionize everything we knew about our favourite artform but instead everyone was meh on it and played something else -- in this case, Left 4 Dead -- instead. Then, seeing it soundly thrashed by critics, a few hipsters held it up as a work of misunderstood genius that they, of course, got. Well, I played Mirror's Edge and I'll tell you: it really was meh. The idea of it may be nice and shiny, but the idea of a monkey commando driving an atomic-powered war-dozer is nice and shiny too and you don't see a ton of those rolling around, do you? Still, I think EA should take another shot at the universe they created and it looks like they may do just that.

Bridges on Iron Man
Jeff Bridges has revealed that there wasn't a script for Iron Man, they just improvised the whole damn thing. Somehow that makes it better. In other "Shellhead" news, here's another poster for Iron Man 2. I gotta say, it doesn't look much different than most of the posters for the first movie.

Metro 2033
Gamespot has a preview of the Russian-set post-apocalyptic shooter. A few things: a) the game has some interesting gameplay features including missions limited by the amount of time your gas mask is useful and having to charge up your flashlight, b) they hosted the event in an actual Moscow metro station! and c) the reporter's name is Guy Cocker, LOL!

And finally…
You hear a lot about how Minnesota Vikings' QB Brett Favre is awesome and whatnot, but now you actually get to hear it. LISTEN!

Immanuel Kant, random advice + good times

Yes!
I am someone who enjoys drinking. Perhaps to excess, but I enjoy it nonetheless. There will be no judgments. And it is no secret I enjoy a playthrough of a video game from time to time. They pass the hours quite nicely. Now, I would be lying if I said that I've never combined the two. Seems natural right? I remember one particular (and painful) session of the shit-tastic Too Human that turned into an inadvertent drinking game. I promised myself I would go to bed at the end of one of its (seemingly interminable) levels but found myself slogging and slogging away with no end in sight -- while also drinking. And drinking. Things ended badly for me, more or less, but the level never did. But hey, that's basically the same experience anyone who played that game had -- and at least I was drunk. Well, finally someone has set down some rules (which, clearly, I didn't follow) on how to drink and play video games. And I thank you, good sir.

Cool!
These pics of actors in plain clothes (sort of) recreating famous roles are really, really neat. No, seriously, you find a better adjective.

Iron Man/War Machine
It's a new poster for Iron Man 2. It's got Iron Man and it's got War Machine. Together. Pow. Good times.

Mass Effect 2
With the awesome Dragon Age: Origins out there in the world, getting bought, getting played, getting taken out to dinner, whispered to sweetly and loved tenderly by the fire, BioWare can now concentrate full time on Mass Effect 2, as well as the added side effect of making me jizz in my pants every five seconds. To whit: here is another character reveal for the game, out January 26, also known as the beginning of my vacation.

Kant + Comics = Awesome, understandable
Hey, who doesn't enjoy the philosophical stylings of German philosopher Immanuel Kant? But dayum is his writing foul. One possible work-around? Explain his wrtitings using comic books.

Are you kidding me?
Here's an article from Slate. The premise: DVD box sets of TV shows are a terrible gift. Why, you no doubt are wondering? Apparently you're forcing the recipient to slog through a whole bunch of television.Yep. The article says: "Boxed sets have transformed television from light entertainment into homework." No, really, that's what it says. Uh, what? Oh, did my gift of something I consider so culturally and (more important) personally essential that I wanted to share it with you force you to sit and do nothing but enjoy art/entertainment and possibly be emotionally engaged in something other than your Facebook page? Did it? Wow. I'm really, REALLY sorry for that. Ugh. Fuck you, Slate. Enjoy manufacturing cultural criticism no one asked for and living up your own ass. I guess I can go and give the box set of season two of Supernatural I got you to someone who will actually appreciate it. (Yes, I mean my mom.)

Assassin’s Creed II DLC
If you felt that there wasn't enough assassinating people in Renaissance Italy using various methods (and, really, how could there be?) in Assassin's Creed II, you're in luck. Our friends at Ubisoft are releasing not one but two content packs early in the New Year. As they say in Italy: Dolce! (They don't say that...)

Red Dead Redemption
I must admit, this game held no interest for me until this trailer. How cool does this thing look, though?

And finally…
This video has a number of things that shouldn't be put together (like, ever) but always seem to be for whatever reason. Japan. Robots. Dancing. J-Pop. Scary robot faces.

All about the superheroes

More JSA
Here are some more shots of the various DC heroes that will be appearing on Smallville in a big ole two-hour movie. You've got Hawkman and Green Arrow having a heart-to-heart talk and also Dr. Fate and Stargirl -- who kinda looks like she was dragged along to this whole thing and isn't so happy about it.

The Mighty Thor
There's been a lot of casting news and hubub around the Thor movie lately but I'm still having some trouble getting into the idea. I mean, Thor is even a tough sell sometimes in comics when you get right down to it. Especially when he kicks it with other heroes. Like, him and Spidey hanging out? That's weird, man. Amiright? Anyway, Marvel big dog Joe Quesada is saying that Thor will redefine superhero films. Yay?

And finally…
This is pretty damn funny AND makes me hungry all at once. Wonder Woman, not the secret pizza, of course. (** record scratch! **)