The Expendables
On paper, this whacky Sly Stallone vehicle sounded pretty amazing. Sly, Mickey Rourke, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, Eric Roberts and a bunch of other awesome dudes star in a
Dirty Dozen-style action tale of mercs and mayhem. Like I said, on paper it sounded amazing -- but I never imagined it would work. How could I? Then
they released this as the first official pic and I was like, "Hello, what do we have here?" That's Eric Roberts, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and an explosion. Yes! Also of note: Roberts plays a dude who's named "Monroe" -- also: Yes! Well, as of today, I'm officially onboard
The Expendables. I'm shotgunning a six-pack, getting a lap dance from a Hungarian stripper with a c-section scar and lining up on opening night for this -- and it's all thanks to
this trailer.
LOL!
I'm assuming you're already familiar with
dontevenreply.com. If not, the basic premise is a guy responds to various classified ads in a jackassderdly manner and hilarity ensues. And it really, really does.
BSG
Just in case you (or your shame boner) forgot how easy on the eyes Tricia Helfer and Grace Park of
Battlestar Galactica were,
Maxim has decided to remind you with a new cover, video and, uh, spread.
January…again
Also, just in case you were wondering what that full January Jones/
GQ photoshoot looked like,
here 'tis.
Assassin’s Creed
Montreal developers Ubisoft still haven't released
Assassin's Creed II yet -- that's in November -- and
they're already talking about Assassin's Creed III. I guess it's more like they're throwing around ideas for it, some of them being: possibly setting the game in World War II and making the title's protagonist a lady. That's cool. Although, I was hoping they might do some other stuff set before then first, you know? Like, the first was in the Middle East during The Crusades, the second is slated for Italy during the Renaissance, why not hit Britain during the Elizabethan era or even the Victorian age? Even the American or French revolutions might be an interesting place for assassins to turn up. We'll get to you soon enough, WWII.
Brutal Legend
The reviews are starting to come in an it looks like Tim Schaffer's Heavy Metal epic staring Jack Black is as awesome as promised. Although, I gotta say I didn't see the real-time strategy game component coming. Must buy now!
And finally…
This bit on various
Netflix cues of the stars is pretty funny. Okay, not LOL! funny but definitely amused exhale/snort funny.
