The Player: FIFA 10 cont.

So, I’ve created several different “tournaments” but, really, they’re just leagues. I’m running through a season of the MLS (as Toronto FC, natch) and a season of the Barclay’s Premiere League (the English league, for you soccer/football uninitiated) and am playing as Liverpool FC. I’m an Arsenal supporter but they’re rated at 4.5 stars and I wanted to play a 5 star club. (On a side note: It sometimes seems arbitrary how they come up with these ratings. Like, no offense to any fans, but I can't really see how Liverpool is a 5 and the Gunners are a 4.5, you know? Or how Roma is a 4.5 and Inter is a 5. I kinda feel that maybe Liverpool has scarier fans than Arsenal and that maybe the designers don't watch Italian clubs, so that's sort of how it's all decided. The MLS is even crazier. Everyone is pretty much a 2 or 2.5, with some 1.5s in there, too. You got to feel pretty lame if you're one of those 1.5s, I would imagine. Still, Toronto is a 2, and they're 3-0-1 or something like that in one of my leagues.)

I also created a Champions League style table that has teams from all over the world – which I’m using Liverpool for as well.

I haven’t even bothered to try the “Be a Pro” stuff yet. You know, where you play as one dude for a whole season? You can even create a player – yourself, if you’d like – and download a pic of your face and import it. It’s tempting, but we’ll see.

So far, things are going well as Liverpool. In my crazy Champions League, I’m 2-0-1, with wins against Ajax Amsterdam (2-0) and Sporting Lisbon (1-0) and a hard-fought scoreless draw with the always formidable Bayern Munich. Got a big game against Celtic of Glasgow coming up and then Real Madrid after that one. Yeesh. I’ll probably start up my run at the Premiership tonight with my first fixture against Aston Villa first, though. Sweet.

With Toronto, as you can imagine, not so much. I think I have a draw and a loss. Or maybe just a loss. Not sure. And, also, Dwayne “Dee Ro” DeRosario got a red card in the last match, so he’s not around for our next game. Bummer.

I have to say, I’m really enjoying 10 versus 09. It’s hard to put my finger on where it’s better just yet but I just feel it. I yell much less at the TV when playing, that’s a good start. With every version of the game, it feels more and more like a sim rather than a game. I love that I can slow the play down and I don’t have guys swarming me because, you know what? That’s not what happens in a real game.

And it’s really, REALLY hard to score. Even with an empty net things go horribly wrong. Crossbars and posts are hit. Tears are shed. If you look at those results, they’re like a real game. The TFC games were the same. I haven’t been involved in a match where anyone has scored more than two goals. It keeps things real feeling and I like that.

This weekend, I figure some more league play and then on to the “Be a Pro” stuff. Sweet.

Happy Halloween

Halloween
Where would we be on Halloween without some hilarious Cracked.com costume mockery?

Scary
Obviously what scares us is about as subjective as things can get. For me, it's suffocation and those flat, saucer-like nipples chicks (usually from the late '70s, early '80s) sometimes get. I suppose if somehow both could be worked into something, I'd be pretty afraid of that as well. (Although, possibly aroused, too.) As far as films go, that's a tough one. I guess I don't really get scared of flicks or games when I'm watching or playing them. It's more that night, after, when I'm in bed and I start thinking about aspects of them that it starts to freak me out a bit. Blair Witch was good for that. Dead Space was, too. Anyway, Den of Geek has a list of movies that scared them. What do y'all think?

Frost vs. Frosting
Nick Frost is a funny dude. Flushing things down the toilet that aren't supposed to be flushed down the toilet is funny, too. Put them together and, well, you've got to feel that that's going to land on the amusing side of things as well.

Thor
This Mighty Thor movie Marvel has been talking about is coming together. In all honesty, I don't care. I understand how Marvel is all excited because someone made some good choices around the Iron Man thing and it turned out awesome for them and the rest of us -- and now they want to parlay that into even more awesomeness. But I don't think that's going to happen. Or at least, I'm skeptical of it. You see, if you learn one thing in this business, it's that awesome doesn't come easy to Hollywood. Still, we've got Kenneth Brannagh directing this thing. And now we've got Sir Anthony Hopkins as Odin. So, maybe?

Not scary but scary
Life is weird sometimes. There are horror movies that aren't scary out there and there are non-horror movies that have scary bits in them. Crazy! IFC has made a list of some of those latter ones.

Jemaine
I always thought that Flight of the Conchords dude Jemaine Clement's first name was actually Jermaine and that Brett's accent made it sound that way when he talked to him. But no, it's JE-maine not JER-maine. Weird. Is Brett's name actually Brit, like how it sounds when JE-maine pronounces it? On top of Jemaine's Conchords chores, he's starring in a new flick from the dudes who brought you Napoleon Dynamite and Nacho Libre called Gentleman Broncos. He's interviewed in AV Club in support of that.

Dead Space 2
Yes. It's confirmed. A sequel. Well, sort of by Reuters. Dead Space was a weird game in that it had a lot of really great things about it but you got to a point where those really great things just stopped mattering and it went from a 9+ out of 10 to an 8+ out of 10. The first chunk is some of the scariest stuff I've experienced in any medium, game or otherwise. Also, the zero-G sequences are mindblowing -- especially some of the horrific shit that happens to you outside the spaceship. Wow. But by the end, you figure out patterns and the game's AI lets it down. You can read my old review, if you'd like, here. I also did an interview with the game's art director, Ian Milham here. I'm interested to see what EA and the team will do with a new game. I think they could hit this one out of the park if they take some of the criticisms out there to heart.

And finally…
Marvel comics is 70 years old. That is insane. I remember when they turned... well, nevermind. The Times Online has a list of facts about them you (probably) didn't know. Also, for any Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 fans out there -- guilty or otherwise -- here's some word on the upcoming DLC, including word that Black Panther is one of the characters. Sweet!

Generic Thursday blog post

Dragon Age: Origins
Man, I have a buttload of games to review. First off and for the record: That's not a complaint. It is the truth, though. I have six games I'm at varying stages of playing that all should get reviewed soon-ish (if not already). Shoot, I still have to get deep enough into NHL 10 to start forming some opinions and when did that come out? Like, months ago, it seems (it wasn't.) It's sad. And the worst of it? After Nov. 3, I'm pretty much just playing Dragon Age: Origins. Bioware continues to tease some amazing details like this social network-style element the game uses. Also, this reviewer has outlined the use of sex (which is pretty frequent) in the game. My favorite tidbit from that is that the sex becomes an element "around the 60 hour mark" of the game. Awesome.

Uncharted
Nolan North, game voice actor extraordinaire has dropped that Hugh Jackman is everyone's fave pick to play Nathan Drake in a big screen adaptation of Uncharted. I guess that works. I like Jackman, a lot actually, but him as Drake isn't a slam dunk for me. Nope, it isn't.  After recently playing all of Uncharted 2 and revisiting a bit of the original for comparitive purposes (yes, I'm just that thorough), I was feeling Bradley Cooper as Nathan for some reason. He sort of has that cocky-wry thing going, he would probably put a lot more into the franchise than someone who already has one going, and, he really sounds like North/Drake. Then again, maybe Drake needs the Indiana Jones style weight that someone like Jackman has. I don't know. It's probably best that I don't cast giant Hollywood adaptations of video games for a living, isn't it?

Alien prequel
Ridley Scott is doing a prequel to Alien. Whether or not you think that's a good idea, it's happening. Hey, it's better than Brett Ratner doing it or who-have-you, but still, yeah, there's going to be some nervousness there for all of us out here. Scott has started to drop some details about his idea -- well, very vague ones, anyway. Mainly about when the film would take place in relation to the original.

Avatar
Here is the first, full Avatar trailer. So, what did you think? It looks rather plush, doesn't it? To me, it also looks like it will be kinda bad and here's why: the dialogue/story we're allowed to see. It just all seems a tad too simple, doesn't it? Shouldn't a futuristic tale of morality have some complex moral choices in it? Then there's the (possibly ridiculous) Braveheart-slash-St. Crispen's Day speech that all epic films seem to have and all I could say was: Wow. As in: Wow, that's bad. My dad and I were talking about the movie at Thanksgiving and he was like, "If they can put people's consciousness into another entity, why don't they have the technology to repair the guy's body?" The trailer sort of hints that maybe there's a reason, but still, I'm really getting the no feeling from this one.

24
Do you still watch this? I don't.

And finally...
Networks keep giving science fiction shows the green light. There are a bunch out there in TV land. Some are great. Some are just good. Some are Stargate. Regardless, networks have a tendency to kick science fiction shows in their special parts any chance they can get. Moving them around. Putting them on hiatus. Reducing their budgets. Etc. Well, it's about time they stopped. And figures that as soon as I get into Fringe, it's now considered a bubble show. Face palm.

The Player: FIFA 10

I haven’t played a ton of EA’s monster FIFA 10 yet – just a few friendly games using Toronto FC – but I can already tell how true to life the game is. In each closely contested game, I had TFC tied nil-nil going into the dying seconds of the match and then (you see where this is going, right?) – just like the real team – I choked in a cheap goal right at the end to lose. Of course, I haven’t totally melted down when a playoff spot was on the line but, like I said, I haven’t played much yet.

Lingering fan anger aside, I’m really looking forward to diving into the game and seeing how much EA has improved the game since last year.

Same meh, different pile

Conan
Did you know they're making a new Conan movie? Yep. They are. Want some details? You're welcome.

Marvel Ultimate Alliance
Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 is a dumb game. But Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 is also a dumb game that is awesome. Sort of. Read my review.

True Grit
The Coen brothers are re-doing True Grit -- you know, the western that John Wayne won an Oscar for? In the role of Rooster Cogburn, they're thinking Jeff Bridges, Nice, right? Now word is they're adding Matt Damon and Josh Brolin to the mix, too.

Avatar… stolen?
There are murmurings going around that the idea/story for James Cameron's upcoming 3D orgy Avatar may have been "borrowed" from a late 1950s science fiction short story by Poul Anderson. Based on that painting for the story, I'm thinking it's no coincidence -- but that's just me.

BioShock 2
In many ways 2007's BioShock changed the face of gaming. Ideas about the way games are played, designed, conceived and written -- on top of art directed -- were pushed to the limits. So it's kinda strange to look at this trailer for the sequel. Sure, it's amazing looking and awesome but it looks sort of like gaming has changed the face of BioShock, doesn't it? Instead of atmosphere and fear, you're getting a high octane first-person shooter feel. Is that BioShock? When you factor in that the game is going to push a multiplayer component and that original writer Susan O'Connor isn't onboard, I have some reservations.

Action figures
I've never been huge into the action figure thing, Star Wars or otherwise. Although, I have an original C3P0 hanging out on my bookcase right at this very moment. Still, I enjoy a good list and if it happens to be about Star Wars action figures and some of the most embarassingly collectible examples, then so be it!

Evil
Another good list. This one documents some truly evil entities in science fiction. Although, Galactus? Isn't that like calling a shark or lion evil? Doesn't he serve some kind of culling purpose or is he just into destroying things? I thought he needs to eat planets to survive? If that's wrong then I don't want to be right.

The Who: Rock Band
On top of all the other Beatles-related awesomeness Beatles: Rock Band has unleashed on the world, it's success is just going to open the floodgates on other, similar projects for bands that approach the Fab Four's stature. There have been murmurs from Pink Floyd and U2 on the subject but it looks like the first follow-up may be from The Who. And to this I say: FUCK YA!

Assassin’s Creed
Ubisoft is pretty damned serious about Assassin's Creed 2. How serious? So serious, they bought Hybride Technologies, the digital post-production studio behind 300 and Sin City and got them to make a bunch of background shizz for the game. Shizz like this short film called Lineage. On top of that, Ubi is dropping more hints of what they're thinking for Assassin's Creed 3. If you remember, a couple of weeks ago they mentioned a World War II-plagued Europe as a possible setting, with a female assassin as the protagonist. This week, it's either Medieval Europe or feudal Japan. No word on if they're still considering the lady assassin. I like the feudal Japan idea. That means ninjas and, knowing Ubi, it'll mean meticulously researched and realistic ninjas -- which could be really, really cool. I guess all the brainstorming is sort of showing how limitless the franchise could be.

And finally…
I linked to this before on the old blog, but it popped up again today and I just had to go there again. Cracks my shit up every time.

The Player: Uncharted 2: Among Thieves. Again.

Okay, so I finished the game. Now I have to write the review. Let’s just say: it’s not going well.

That’s not the game’s fault. I enjoyed Uncharted 2 a lot and will be giving it a pretty solid review – like a 9 or 9.5 out of 10. I loved going on adventures with Nate Drake and meeting the colourful cast of loveable rogues and scoundrels. Also, my crush on Elena continues. So, me not writing a review isn’t because I hated the game or whatever. Let’s get that out there. I’m just having trouble putting things down in a nicely set out, review form.

I’m going to use this entry as a way to organize my thoughts and maybe come up with some bon mots etc.

Here’s what’s good about the game:

- The controls are a lot tighter this time around. The amount of times where you die a frustrating death chalked up to a camera or controller glitch is almost nil. Well done, Naughty Dog. Also, I loved that grenades have their own button now, instead of having to switch between your guns to get to them as in the original. It keeps things simple and that’s what you want in combat.

- Everything is BIGGER! The story. The action. The fun. Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune had a ton of thrills and spills, don’t get me wrong, but Among Thieves tops them all by taking a gaming experience and turning it into something beyond by fusing pulse-pounding action movie cinematic techniques. There are a bunch of set pieces that I just sat there and shook my head about how awesome they were – and there was at least one that made me exclaim (yes, out loud) “I always wanted to do this in a game…”

- The voice acting and use of it is exceptional. Some of the best out there.

- Great characterization. One of the things I loved about Drake’s Fortune was that it created this believable and interesting character, Nathan Drake. You want to learn more about him and his adventures and, thanks to the franchise, you’re probably going to now.

One bad thing about the game:

- Well, it’s not bad, so much as a complaint. The difference in difficulty at “Normal” between Drake’s Fortune and Among Thieves is very noticeable. What I really liked about the first game was that firefights were excruciating and you never really had that much ammo, so you always felt like your back was against the wall and often, you’d be forced to do crazy things to stay alive. It gave Nate and the game this ragged feel, sort of like Indiana Jones in Raiders. In Among Thieves, I don’t remember once getting close to running out of ammo. Also, most gunfights were short by standards of the original game. The pulled punches sort of continue in other aspects of the game, with a lot of hand holding and the like. Things are so lightweight sometimes that when you do face a heftier challenge, you’re pretty surprised by it.

Quibbles aside, I highly recommend the game. It delivers a high flying, enjoyable kick to the face – and you’ll be smiling through the whole thing.

"Maybe I'll just sit here and bleed at you."

More Elder Scrolls question mark?
Editors hate when you use a question mark at the end of a headline. They just do. Sure, they'll let you get away with it if it's a question that can't be answered with a simple yes or no -- like: "How did Hungarian nymphos become the best nymphos?" -- but they'd really prefer if you skipped it altogether. Got it? Since I don't have an editor, I'm going with the question mark headline. Suck it. Anyway, do you remember Fallout 3 studio Bethesda Softworks' seminal (heehee) Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion? Sure you do. That was the 2005 fantasy RPG that swallowed about 70-100 hours of your life at some point in the last few years whether you loved playing it or thought it laughable. That one. With its ridiculous combat mechanics, estimated three voice actors (one of which was Linda "Wonder Woman" Carter -- true!) yet incredibly engrossing and obsession-inducing quests and adventures. It was a lot like Fallout 3 in that any given session of play included some of the greatest and most terrible moments of gaming you had ever experienced -- sometimes simultaneously. It's a game you have to play if you consider yourself a gamer -- whether you like it or not is irrelevant. Okay, so, why am I going on about it? Well, there's a new Elder Scrolls novel coming out and this has once more fanned the Elder Scrolls V/Oblivion sequel flames. Not surprisingly, I'm both excited and dreading the prospect.

Brick
If you haven't seen Rian Johnson's Brick, please do. It's an incredible film. Even four years after its release, it's still fresh and unique. Unless you know of other convincing, 21st century high school-based Chandler-esque noir films out there. Here, Johnson discusses the production of the film.

Avatar
Want some new Avatar pics? Enjoy!

And finally…
I wanted to play Borderlands. It sounded like a long game I probably/ultimately wouldn't like but, shoot, I wanted to give it a go. It's a Mad Max-y romp set on a desolate and lawless planet and features, literally, billions millions of weapons. So, yeah, I didn't get a copy of the game. Well, I could always go out and buy me one, but, pft! A free one didn't come in the mail so I'm not playing it. Simple. Done. And it looks like a good thing, too. Well, if you compare this one dude's first opinion and then his next one 16 hours later. Guess I dodged a bullet there, huh?

Are you ready to Friday?

The A-Team
What do those new dudes playing the A-Team in that new A-Team movie look like, you may be asking? Why, they look like this, actually. Boom! That's them. Uh, is it wrong if I kinda dig it? Although, as people have mentioned, Liam Neeson is a little... distressing for some reason. At least these guys look like they'll shoot some drug dealing slum lord in the face while saving your family dry cleaning business, instead of creepy dirtbags who would try to pick you up at a bus station like the old dudes did.

Bone (heehee)
If you like comic books graphic novels and haven't read Jeff Smith's absolutely epic and awesome Bone series, well, then you'll be surprised to find out that, in fact, you don't actually like them. It's really that simple. So, go read them. Now, jerkweeds. We'll wait. (I'm lying, we won't.) Smith has recently mentioned that Warner Bros. is looking into creating a trilogy based on the beloved series. Sounds good maybe? Maybe.

Ghost in the Shell
More on the adaptation front: a live action, 3D extravaganza based on groundbreaking 1990s anime classic Ghost in the Shell is building up steam. I'd like for this to be good, I really, really, would, but I don't know.

Good games fail, bad games win
Sometimes bad things happen to good games and vice versa.

How do you say “WTF?” in Japanese?
As the lady says in the article: stick around until the end of the video. It's, uh, surprising to say the least.

Party Down
I don't know if you've seen Party Down but it's a pretty funny show. Any show with Jane Lynch and Martin Starr as cast members is going to be good, right? It's also highly improved and follows a group of struggling actors, screenwriters and other showbiz types working as caterers in LA. Anyway, good news for fans of the show as Lynch and cute-as-a-button guest star Kristen Bell will both be returning this season. Sweet!

And finally…
David Cross is a brave comedian. Fearless? Maybe. Courageous? Undeniably. Anyone who's heard his standup knows this. Well, now we know how far he'll go just to win a bet, too.

"No! It's my snake, I trained it, I'm going to eat it!"

Maybe cool?
There can never be enough post-apocalyptic games, right? Even with Fallout 3 sort of setting a (arguably) really high bar? Well, I say no, you can never have enough post-apocalyptic games. Especially when your game is set in post-apocalyptic Moscow. That's where Metro 2033 is set and that's pretty awesome. Looks like it'll basically be Fallout in Russia, but what's wrong with that, huh? And given Fallout 3's ridiculously low-rent shooting mechanics/controls, there's plenty of room for improvements here.

Mad Max
So, a Mad Max 4 helmed by original director/creator George Miller has been in the cards for the last couple of years. They keep talking about it. You keep hearing murmurs about it. It's probably going to get made, okay? First thing: There's going to be no sign of Mel Gibson in it, so I guess you can rest easy? But, if you believe some recent rumors, there may be some Charlize Theron in there. Yeah, that won't be too bad, right?

More like “Dead-house,” amiright?
Uh oh, now Entertainment Weekly's Michael Ausiello is saying that Dollhouse is being yanked during November sweeps. Guess it really is in trouble if sources have confirmed it. To him. Exclusively. Also, it's not good news when the Aus' "loves" your show since he can't shut up about how it's "doomed" and "doesn't stand a chance" and "is all but fucking gone-ass dead" (that may be a leetle bit of a paraphrase...) That sort of talk doesn't help get new viewers enthusiastic about checking out why you're raving about the show in the first place (see: Pushing Daisies and Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles and, almost, Friday Night Lights) but I'm sure it doesn't hurt the Aus's numbers, right? You know, because it's stuff that's source confirmed. To him. Exclusively. So people will go clickers for it.

January once more
GQ is providing even more pics of January Jones from her recent profile/photoshoot in the mag. God bless those guys. I figured I'd link to them, since you really can't get enough half-naked January Jones shots. And if you can, go fuck yourself.

BSG
Hey, remember that show that was on there for a while: Battlestar Galactica? And how it kinda mattered for a bit? You know, until the last episode was pretty much the worst last episode in the history of last episodes forever? Yeah, that one. Well, they've got some new movie-thingy coming out if you care. Here's a clip. In related news, the very tasty Katee Sackhoff will be making a cameo on The Big Bang Theory soon, very soon.

And finally…
In most places this would be completely inappropriate but in Brooklyn, I guess, it's just edgy humor.

"Not if you want to keep your spleen."

Reboot
Did any of you watch that CGI cartoon Reboot from way back when? I didn't really. Like, sometimes I would catch it but not very often. I always heard good things and it seemed to be pretty complex and pretty interesting from what I could glean. Well, it looks like the show is set for a -- wait for it -- reboot. LOL!

Hunk o’ junks
A space ship isn't awesome unless it's basically held together by panicked welding and prayer. Here's a cool list of hunk o' junk space ships.

Wolfman
I gotta say, I really don't care about this Wolfman movie with Benicio Del Toro but maybe you do? If so, here's the latest trailer.

American Psycho
I always thought that Christian Bale based his performance in the underrated adaptation of the novel on Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation, but according to Mary Harron, the film's director, he had a different inspiration for the character.

Brutal Legend
Once I finish Uncharted 2 and write up the review, I'm going to be firing this little baby into my Xbox -- and I can't wait. AV Club's glowing review of the Heavy Metal beast isn't helping my anticipation either.

And finally…
I think we can all agree that this is moderately funny.

"Good... Bad... I'm the guy with the gun."

Oddworld
Did you ever play the series of Oddworld games (primarily on the PS1 and (eventually) Xbox, but also Gameboy and for PCs as well)? If not, you could again -- well, if you have access to the Playstation Network, that is. On Thursday, you'll be able to download a couple of the games (Abe's Oddysee and Abe's Exoddus) on PSN. Sweet!

Bronson Pinchot?
Yes, Bronson Pinchot. He gives a (really) candid interview to the AV Club. Going off about Tom Cruise's (alleged) homophobia and Denzel Washington's (alleged) ass-clownery among other Hollywood tidbits.

Bruce Campbell
Sam Raimi has been talking about Spider-Man 4 quite a bit lately. Sam Raimi has been talking about Spider-Man 4 quite a bit to MTV lately, to be exact. The director has been understandably cagey with details, basically saying he'd like to keep things simple, get back to basics and probably just do one villain this time around. High fives! Also, he revealed that he'll have a meatier role for longtime pal Bruce Campbell. Most people are going to assume that means Campbell will be the villain (popular rumor: Mysterio), but I'm thinking no.

Sucky heroes
Cracked brings you six movie heroes (who sucked at their jobs) -- and they're right.

The Box
I don't know what to feel about upcoming thriller The Box. First off, the title makes me giggle. Then there's the whole Cameron Diaz being in it thing (i..e. I am so not a fan. But I like this.) And then there's Cyclops, who I can take or leave. But the movie is directed by Richard Kelly of Donnie Darko fame. That makes me kinda want to see it. He talks a bit about the movie here. And you can watch a trailer here, if you'd like.

And finally…
I had no idea this was an outtake they kept in the movie. That's some funny shit.

Monday (Boo!): NFL observations and the usual fun stuff

Welcome back. Hope you had a great weekend. I took 'er easy and, as a result, I'm a lot further along in Uncharted 2 (about 7.5 hours played; 78% complete) -- and it's definitely one of the year's best, a near-perfect game.

In NFL football, three teams remain undefeated with Denver playing tonight looking to make it four. I gotta say, though, things are kicking into high gear. The Saints are playing amazing football -- with QB Drew Brees and coach Sean Payton playing angry, which is how you win Super Bowls. They're sick of not winning Super Bowls and it's made them angry so now they're playing angry and they're gonna win some Super Bowls.

That's how it's done. There are three ways to win them. Play happy (Joe Namath, John Madden); play angry (the Bears, the Steelers) or play like robots (Patriots, Joe Montana, Peyton Manning). When you fall in between these extremes, you fail. It seems like that makes no sense, but think about it. See?

Anyway, on top of the Saints, you've got Peyton Manning putting on a clinic in Indy and now it looks like Tom Brady just woke up. Five TD passes in a quarter. If you get five in a game you're a hero. I don't even know how a team can have five offensive possessions in a quarter but, wow, okay.

As for Denver and Minnesota: meh, I'm not sold yet. I think the Vikings have a great team but it's going to come down to Favre staying healthy over the stretch and last year he didn't make it. It doesn't look like the Vikes are resting him either, so I don't know. November and December punish teams. Like, beat them to a pulp. We'll see if the old dude makes it.

The Broncs have a coach who appears to be playing angry (for some reason) but I think he's just an asshole -- there's a difference. I kinda feel they're the team that turns in a great 13-3 or 14-2 record but gets knocked out in their first playoff game. Like the Titans last year or the Cowboys the year before. Besides, Kyle Orton's moustache is too ironic to make it past the first round.

Anyway, the season just kicked into high gear and that means we're the ones who win, right? Right. On to the good stuff...

Borderlands
The reviews are starting to come in for this intriguing, stylish, self-styled role-playing-shooter from 2K. I'm hoping I'll get a review copy of this because it looks kinda bitchin'.

Killzone 3?
I liked Killzone 2 a lot. It didn't try to be anything but the best FPS on the market and I think they nailed it. Seeing first hand how much work Guerilla Games put into the various mechanics behind the title, it's no surprise that they'll be fast-tracking the next installment of the franchise using the mad-genius level of fundamentals they created. Read a couple of interviews (here and here) with some of the developers for more insight on the intense creative process.

The future of the X-Men film franchise (do we care?)
Do we care about the X-Men film franchises/properties any more? I mean, after X3 I stopped. Actually, not to be that guy, but I stopped once I heard Brett Ratner was directing X3. I haven't seen Wolverine, but I've heard it's pretty laughable. So I'm not that bullish on other films that might be planned. But they're out there. Oh, yes, they're out there. Here's a full update on where those all stand. In other X-Men news, a new DLC character for the cheesy-but-awesome Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 has been announced and it's Psylocke. That's not so bad, I'm thinking. Although, I really wish there was a huge database of almost all the Marvel characters available because I'd love to come up with some crazy four-hero combos. Here's the first one that comes to mind: Dazzler, Moon Knight, Master of Kung Fu and She-Hulk. Boom! Makes no sense but it's awesome. Also, you could recreate (sort of) some cool teams. Like do up that cool X-Men team that they had for like, two issues, with Dazzler, Psylocke, Havok and Longshot. And, man, how sweet would it be with some Alpha Flight downloads. Canada, represent. (Ugh)

Women of D&D
Topless Robot is an awesome blog. One of the things I like best about them is their in-your-face love of Dungeons & Dragons. They know we've all played it. They know we all know the references. They know we love it. Why hide it? This is one of their best D&D-related countdowns.

And finally…
Your tax dollars at work: The reboot.

The Player: Uncharted 2: Among Thieves

In “The Player,” you’re going to sit through me talking about the video games I’m playing at the moment. Awesome, right? I’ll give you some observations, complaints, compliments, snack suggestions and so forth.

At the moment, I’m playing giant PS3 exclusive Uncharted 2: Among Thieves. According to the game’s statistics, I’m 4+ hours into the game (or 33%, again, according to the game) and I think I can officially say it’s really, really good.

I really enjoyed Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune, so I’m not surprised that I’m digging this one – but I am surprised at how much Naughty Dog have stepped up their game.

I thought the first game – like some other early PS3 games – was treated harshly. Stuff like Drake’s... and the also chronically underrated Heavenly Sword got okay reviews, like high sevens, early eights, but never got the crazy accolades that your Gears of Wars and Halos got. I’m not sure how much better those games could realistically have been, though. In my humble opinion, they were pretty amazing. I may talk about my deep love for Heavenly Sword some other day, but as for Drake’s Fortune, you got an incredibly conceived, exciting, well-executed adventure game with great voice acting and top drawer dialogue. More importantly, there was a really solid foundation for a franchise there. Like Indiana Jones or Lara Croft or James Bond, you wanted to see Nathan Drake in other adventures and learn everything you could about him and the world he lived in.

For those who didn’t see that before, there’s going to be no mistaking it with Uncharted 2. Among Thieves is highly polished, incredibly exciting, and its focus on integrating cinematic flourishes with gameplay is unparalleled and brings gaming to a new level. And then you have the storytelling, characters and voice acting, which are unrivaled. There’s an audacity to the game that can’t help but make you laugh with the kind of joy you probably last had when watching a great action or adventure film.

And that’s the point, I would assume. Naughty Dog have taken the best of action-adventure movies and made you the star of one. That’s a pretty sweet deal, no?
Check out a trailer

Friday!

Mass Effect 2!
This is news that makes me pretty friggin' happy and since it's my friggin' blog you have to hear about it. Mass Effect 2 has a release date! Not only that, it's WAY sooner than I thought it would be. January 26 to be exact. Sweet! When BioWare said they were looking at Q1 2010 release, I was thinking late Q1 rather than early Q1 but early Q1 it is. Yay! Anyway, it's looking like they're offering some sweet perks if you order the game early, too.

Whedon!
Joss Whedon is a solid storyteller and show runner. I think on this we can all agree. But Joss Whedon is not without his flaws. For me, I've always liked that he uses ass-kicking female protagonists in his work. On the other hand, I hate that I can tell he likes that about himself way more than I do. (Quentin Tarantino does that a bit, too.) Ladies kicking ass shouldn't be of note, Joss, they should just be, that's the point of feminism. Anyway... Cracked has an excellent piece on why it sucks to be a fan of Joss Whedon.

Spike!
Anyone seeing Where the Wild Things Are? /Film has a video interview with its filmmaker Spike Jonze if you're interested.

TV Fun!
I love this sort of list. And when I say love, I mean they drive me the kind of crazy where I sit around on the floor crying in my underwear while crushing Chips Ahoy! cookies through my fingers. It's not the list itself, it's the possibility that the information in it may be true that bugs me. Ugh, Heroes is "OK"? Really?  REALLY? Really? Who is fucking who to keep that show on the air? Then there is the inevitable blog-o-sphere backlash against the list (me included, but I think only, like, four or five people are reading this -- thank you, BTW) and that drives me nuts, too. There's the inevitable cries about Dollhouse being "in trouble." Not sure why people are surprised. Then Pop Candy was all incredulous that Parks and Recreation is in trouble. Who thinks it's funny? Answer: no one. Know why? It's not funny. It's not funny, no matter how much we love Amy Poehler, Rashida Jones, Aziz Ansari, this guy, et al. And that's okay, Pop Candy. That's okay. You don't have to pretend to care. Or that you watch the show. Besides, when you want to treat a show a like a slow kid who makes some nice macaroni art because they had one funny bit that week, you always have Saturday Night Live to fall back on.

Authors!
Think writers are pompous, wimpy geeks with their fancy book learning and big words and working teeth? You're probably right in that -- but not about all of them! Some of them would/will kick your ass. Check out this list and feel the truth.

And finally…
Hopefully your weekend will be this awesome.

"Bring it, 'Happy Feet!'"

The Expendables
On paper, this whacky Sly Stallone vehicle sounded pretty amazing. Sly, Mickey Rourke, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, Eric Roberts and a bunch of other awesome dudes star in a Dirty Dozen-style action tale of mercs and mayhem. Like I said, on paper it sounded amazing -- but I never imagined it would work. How could I? Then they released this as the first official pic and I was like, "Hello, what do we have here?" That's Eric Roberts, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and an explosion. Yes! Also of note: Roberts plays a dude who's named "Monroe" -- also: Yes! Well, as of today, I'm officially onboard The Expendables. I'm shotgunning a six-pack, getting a lap dance from a Hungarian stripper with a c-section scar and lining up on opening night for this -- and it's all thanks to this trailer.

LOL!
I'm assuming you're already familiar with dontevenreply.com. If not, the basic premise is a guy responds to various classified ads in a jackassderdly manner and hilarity ensues. And it really, really does.

BSG
Just in case you (or your shame boner) forgot how easy on the eyes Tricia Helfer and Grace Park of Battlestar Galactica were, Maxim has decided to remind you with a new cover, video and, uh, spread.

January…again
Also, just in case you were wondering what that full January Jones/GQ photoshoot looked like, here 'tis.

Assassin’s Creed
Montreal developers Ubisoft still haven't released Assassin's Creed II yet -- that's in November -- and they're already talking about Assassin's Creed III. I guess it's more like they're throwing around ideas for it, some of them being: possibly setting the game in World War II and making the title's protagonist a lady. That's cool. Although, I was hoping they might do some other stuff set before then first, you know? Like, the first was in the Middle East during The Crusades, the second is slated for Italy during the Renaissance, why not hit Britain during the Elizabethan era or even the Victorian age? Even the American or French revolutions might be an interesting place for assassins to turn up. We'll get to you soon enough, WWII.

Brutal Legend
The reviews are starting to come in an it looks like Tim Schaffer's Heavy Metal epic staring Jack Black is as awesome as promised. Although, I gotta say I didn't see the real-time strategy game component coming. Must buy now!

And finally…
This bit on various Netflix cues of the stars is pretty funny. Okay, not LOL! funny but definitely amused exhale/snort funny.

"It's that dog. Don't feed it, he'll just follow you around."

January Jones
I really like January Jones. I enjoy her. She has a great name. Is a great actress (see Mad Men). And hey, she isn't afraid to call Ashton Kutcher on his bullshit. So, yeah, all awesome. Mostly, though, she looks good in a pair of garters.

Lady Super-heroes
Staying on a feminist tack, here's a compelling list of lady counterparts to famous dude heroes. You know, like Spider-Woman or Supergirl, etc.

Wild Things
Are y'all ready for the Sendak-powered media storm around Where the Wild Things Are? The film is already starting to get some good reviews, so cool, right? Here are some clips to check out and a gallery of stills if you're still ambivalent or just hate that hipsters have already ruined this thing before its even begun.

Batman: Arkham Asylum
Yeah, it's pretty late, but I wrote a review of the near-revelation of a game. Wanna read it?

Dragon Age: Origins
If you like your games on PC then you're in luck: BioWare is giving PC gamers an opportunity to create their avatars for fantasy orgy Dragon Age: Origins ahead of time. Like, now-ish. Why would you want to do that, you ask? Oh, I don't know, maybe because the game's latest trailer looks something like this. That trailer is forcing me to call it "the jizz." There, I just did that. You're welcome. (Seriously cannot wait to play this game...)

And finally…
If you've got a spare 90 minutes available, you might check out this Pavement documentary available at Pitchfork.

"Unless you have an IQ higher than mine, I am not interested in what you think"

Anyway, it's Thanksgiving here in Canada this weekend. Time for some turkey and awkward family interactions, right? I'm doing my best to keep this thing going, so, instead of leaving at a decent time, I'm dropping a quick entry. I hope you appreciate this.

Mass Effect 2
I am a huge fan of space RPG Mass Effect. That is an understatement of epic proportions. To say I'm excited about the upcoming sequel to the BioWare game (due out in early 2010) would be an understatement of equal epic-ness. So, when I read this IGN piece on how the upcoming game is the "dark chapter" of the trilogy akin to the Empire Strikes Back, there might have been a quiet fist-pump in celebration. Seriously, this one is looking like a contender for game of the year 2010.

Oddworld
Speaking of cool video games, anyone remember Oddworld? Well you're going to be able to get a bundle of all the games off of PSN and Steam. Sweet! Now if they could just revive the series for this generation of consoles.

Fringe
You know what? I'm a big fan of J.J. Abrams and co.'s chronicles of the unexplained show now. I recently got the season one Blu-ray and have just caught up on the series and enjoyed the fuck out of it. Great characters, good acting and an engaging plot. And get this: unlike the X-Files (which it will always be compared with) it seems to know where it's going. Anyway, here's an interview with Leonard Nimoy -- who plays mad-lord scientist billionaire William Bell on the show -- talking about the new season.

And finally…
Seriously, where is this stuff?

"Hello, Echo. How are you feeling?"

Halloween costumes
Well, it's that time of year again and you know what that means: costumes of regular stuff except with "sexy" in front of it. "Sexy" tax collector. "Sexy" third world seamstress. "Sexy" small pet veterinarian. You know the drill. Here's a collection of "sexy" super hero costumes to check out. Not as good as you thought they might be, right? Check out IO9's ongoing costume gallery (and their one from last year). Some real quality in there.

Scary robot
It's from Japan. And it sings.

Dollhouse
Now I know this is going to come as a shock to you, but Joss Whedon's Dollhouse is in trouble in the ratings department. Wow, what should you do, you ask? You can start signing this petition thing fans have started. We all know how well those work out. I don't know, it's a show that has Eliza Dushku and now Summer Glau on it and I still don't watch it, that sounds like something that should be cancelled in my book. PS: Screw you, Fox, for cancelling Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

FNL FTW
I'm pretty jazzed to find out that Friday Night Lights is back in less than 20 sleeps. Uh, well, it is if you can, uh, get it on satellite in the U.S. I mean. Not that I can! If, like me, you have no way of downloading finding it, it'll be on NBC in the new year.

Venture Bros.
The new season is almost here! Check out some stills and a trailer!

Dragon Age DLC...BOOM!
If you're one of those gamers that won't be content with upcoming fantasy RPG Dragon Age: Origins' 100+ hours of gameplay -- and you won't be content with it even before you play it -- then you're in luck! Bioware is releasing some DLC the day the game drops, November 3 for Xbox and PC owners, and on November 17 for PS3 owners. Sweet! Might as well get that DLC shit out of the way early on, amiright?

Flash
Get ready to cry your geek tears over this footage of the Flash game that never was. It's rough, obviously, but looks pretty much like what the Flash game you dreamed about would look like. Minus that weird Iris West QuickTime event sex scene bit, of course.

And finally…
What have I been doing over the last little while, you ask? (You didn't ask.) Well, in the words of one of my old bosses "I don't write anymore, I edit." But I did find time to do a little bit of writing and, in the usual interest of self-promotion, here's some of it. I did a review of Halo 3: ODST. A look at pop culture's sexiest robots. And a recap of some of music's worst lyrics. There's other stuff I've done out there but it's meh or not timely or both.

My alternate career

In a parallel universe, I am an art director for a 1960s science fiction publishing company. It's like Mad Men, just with geeks writing about giant sentient star vessels that have forgotten they're sentient and it's up to the society that has evolved inside them to figure this out. Or something. Maybe add a giant star vagina and you've got a Hugo award.

Anyway, you can try and design your own (awesome) sci-fi and fantasy books with this fun little trick:

1 – Go to “Behind the Name”. Hit “Generate a Name!” or click here

The first name you get is your author name.

2 – Go to “Fantasy Novel Title Generator”

or click here

This is the title of your book.

3 – Go to Photobucket and click on “surreal art” or click here

Add the two numbers of your age together (ex. 2 + 7 = 9). Go to that page of results. The fourth picture, no matter what it is, is your cover.

Above are some I've done. Looks like it's right from that sweet spot in the '60s where everyone was so jazzed about having sex more than once a year and taking LSD that didn't make you scared of pencils that art looked like someone painted with their nightmares. I don't know what that means, but it sounds about right. Try some yourself. If you send 'em to me here I might just put 'em up.

I'm back, baby...

Yeah, so, yeah... I guess I'm going to do this again. A blog. That just happened. Anyway, HWA (now HWMA) is back in a non-official, totally civilian kind of way. I get paid to do other stuff at work so this is all about the love now. I don't care about PVs or UVs or whatevs anymore, so it's back to obscure post titles and shit like that. It's back to where I came from which, of course, is from the streets.

Riiiight, so, hopefully y'all will check back when you can to see if I've managed to keep this going unlike my promise not to wake up awesome anymore.

(And, yes, it's not called Hot. Wet. Action. anymore cuz I don't want to get sued by Canwest... I hear they need all the money they can get these days...)