I swear this picture is relevant

Chuck
See? I'm talking about NBC series Chuck and that's Chuck star Yvonne Strahovski who plays Chuck's it's-complicated love interest/super spy Sarah Walker on Chuck. Also, that picture is of Yvonne playing Sarah on an episode of the show Chuck. Really, I'm having a lot of trouble understanding why the show is struggling with ratings. This interview with executive producer Chris Fedak outlines that, while not totally dead, the series' future isn't totally secure either -- no matter what this Hollywood Reporter article seems to indicate.

Team Ico
If you've ever played either Ico and/or Shadow of the Colossus then you'll probably be very excited about the idea of a) a movie based on Shadow... and b) both games being bundled up and given the PS3/HD treatment. Too good to be true you say? Check this out.

He’s back…
Remember the dude who did a 70-minute Phantom Menace review (that was totally right)? Here he is with his 90-minute Attack of the Clones review. I gotta say, I'm finding it way easy to get through this one. Also -- creepy undertones aside -- how does he know all these busty, saucy-cute chicks? All my Star Wars interests ever netted me was shame and a beat up C3-P0 action figure... without the original packaging.

Inception
Here is an article that contains some spoiler-y info on director Christopher Nolan's upcoming psychological/science fiction film, Inception. I don't know what that info is because I didn't read the article as it contains spoilers. As much as I adore both of Nolan's Batman films, it's his non-Batman stuff that I really look forward to -- and this seems to be another amazing bit of work. Well, based on what little I know, of course.

And finally…
Here's the Resident Evil Afterlife teaser. Look, I'm not saying that the Resident Evil films featuring Milla Jovovich are any good. The first one was okay. After that, they suck, sure. But I just have a thing for her looking intense, blowing post-apocalyptic shit up, shooting zombies in their brain-eating pie holes and being a badass. If that is wrong, I don't even want to live next door to right.

Action movie asplosion

Expendables
Another trailer for Stallone's insanely packed to the tits ensemble action flick, another out of the park dinger. This time things feel a little more serious -- so that means no Eric Roberts or Dolph "Fucking" Lundgren to be found. This movie looks pretty badass. So much so, they give up it's huge Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis cameos in the promo. It's almost like the cameos were not essential in any way to the success or failure of the film and could be cast aside on a whim. Man, I wish there was a shorter way of putting that.

A-Team
Speaking of teams of dudes finding different ways to explode expensive items and fire off some high caliber weapons, here's the second trailer for The A-Team. Still looking like silly fun, although I kinda agree with Topless Robot that Face and the boys need to stop "laughing irritatingly at their own antics."

Salt
Angelina Jolie will do anything to clear her name in her upcoming action-spy film Salt. She will wear dry looking wigs. She will initiate multiple-car highway devastation. She will give herself up when everyone is expecting her to kill that guy from Serenity. I think I may have even seen her swim at one point. Check out the new trailer and see.

And finally...
Considering they completely dubbed over the guy's voice in his first starring role, it's pretty awesome that this video of 160 of Arnold Schwarzenegger's best quotes exists.

Spider-Man, Walking Dead, Fringe and more

Fringe 101
As I've mentioned, I like Fringe. It's a solid show with a solid cast who play solid characters. Other reasons include: my nerdy love of the occult and "fringe" science, it's smart science fiction and, also, see picture above. I was really happy to hear that Fox gave the show an early confirmation of a third season pick-up. Fox is also upping its support ante (surprisingly) by setting up this Fringe 101 site in advance of the show's return from break on Thursday (April 1). The site features any and all info that viewers new to the show or those thinking of finally checking it out should know --  including what the creators consider the four episodes of the series that you need to see. Seriously, guys, it's a good show. Check it out.

Walking Dead
Zombie movies? Played. Zombie adaptations of classic literature? Ugh. AMC's adaptation of zombie comic Walking Dead? Fuck yeah.

Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions
Spider-Man video games haven't been the greatest. Shoot, even Activision's CEO admits it. That doesn't mean they're just going to throw in their web-shooters and give up, though. Enter, Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions, the latest gaming incarnation of the Wall Crawler. Looks, uh, interesting?

Lazy Teenage Superheroes
This kid made this video for, like, $300. It's sort of a parody of Heroes. Main differences: 1) it's good and 2) I actually want to watch this on a weekly basis.

Knight and Day
This action-comedy thing starring Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz is strange. Like, strange as in kinda off, like the smell of fried liver. It sort of feels like it should be a movie within a movie or something like that. I don't know, is it just me?

And finally…
Instant CSI. That is all.

And the latest Bond girls are...

Bond Girls
Actually, they aren't official. Not even close actually. But rumor has it that the next Bond gals are Olivia Wilde and Freida Pinto. Or they may be. Okay, probably not. Thanks, Slashfilm. I would be very okay with this occurance if, indeed, it actually was true. I'm going to assume Pinto is the nice one and Wilde is the naughty one? Do they still do that in Bond movies? Nevermind, this isn't happening. More likely Bond rumors that also involve a lady are whispers that Rachel Weisz may be onboard the 23rd 007 flick... as the villain. That could be fun, no?

Enslaved
Ninja Theory is a games developer. They are from Cambridge on the Shadow Isle (AKA: the United Kingdom.) They put out the sadly ill-timed and very misunderstood (in my opinion) Playstation 3 exclusive Heavenly Sword -- a game that managed to blend beauty and brutality with the silky tones of Anna Torv's voice and the legendary motion capture acting of Andy "Gollum" Serkis to create some sweet gaming action. Again, that is my opinion. Now, Ninja Theory is back and, once again, are looking like they've got another unique and pretty-looking gem on the go. It's called Enslaved and it's based, in part, on an old Chinese folktale called Monkey. That said, it takes place in a post-apocalyptic future that reminds me of crazy '70s Sci-Fi in the vein of Omega Man and A Boy and His Dog. It also features interesting gameplay that's reportedly reminiscent of Ubisoft's 2008 Gyllenhaal-free version of Prince of Persia. See for yourself.

Nerd scores
I like a good film soundtrack. Always have. In fact, a (partly) unrealized goal of mine is to score a film. Art student films don't count. How about a science fiction film? Yeah, I'd like to do one of those. Would LOVE to. Over at Topless Robot, they put together a list of 13 great nerd movie scores by people other than John Williams -- and I think they pretty much nailed it. Yes, Vangelis' Blade Runner is on there. Omissions I would mention: there's no Dune. Yeah, it's by Toto (of "Africa" "fame") but it turns out those dudes could produce a really moody, dark and evocative piece of music when they wanted to. Maybe David Lynch scared them? Who knows? Also missing: Escape from New York. Did you know John Carpenter hooked up a lot of his own soundtracks? Yeah, he did. The theme (and score) for Escape is pretty damn awesome. Finally, it's kinda weird that Lord of the Rings isn't on there. Yeah, Howard Shore appears on the list, but the Rings stuff needs to be on there. Shoot, I can't imagine those movies without that music. So epic. The '80s anime import/mash-up Robotech (yeah, I know it's not a movie) had an incredibly sophisticated soundtrack, too. You can probably see I enjoy the '80s Sci-Fi soundtracks. That's another reason why I was really blown away when I first played Mass Effect. The game has a real throwback sound (that they did on purpose) and it really hit it home with the universe they've created. The second one is equally trippy with a big ladle of epic sauce slathered all over it.

Hydrophobia
Here's another game that looks potentially promising. Hydrophobia. There's a lot of water in the game. That's what they're selling it on. Still, looks interesting, no?

24
Well, 24 is finally over. Gone. Cancelled. Jack Bauer may go on to saw various terrorists in the face on the big screen but he will never be seen on TV again. What can you do? They had a pretty good run considering it was almost cancelled after its first season. This critic blames the show's restrictive format. Gee, you think? Still, it's probably better to argue that the show's inability to break out of or play with that restrictive format may have been the problem. Oh, and also the silliness.

And finally…
This is what a nerd-gasm looks like.

uhh...

Yeah, so, yeah.

Haven't written in a while for various reasons. There was that whole Mass Effect 2 thing that happened. And working. Oh, and I ate a bunch of meals of food. At some point I got into Chuck somehow. I showered (sometimes). So, I was busy. But here I am again.

Hopefully I can keep this up for a while. That's something I've never had to say before. (Just ask your mom.)

Anyway, if Lucy Lawless talking about genital prosthetics couldn't get me to break my silence, what the fuck could, right?

Lucy Lawless
That new Spartacus show -- have you watched it? I haven't but I plan on it at some point. That's for sure. There's a ton of nudity and graphic sex. Plus crazy action sequences. And also, as Lucy Lawless points out, merkins. Nice.

Bad movies FTW
This movie trailer or collection of scenes or whatever the hell this is really needs to be shared. Same with this one. Enjoy.

This
Really, the title to this film says it all. Not just about the film but about everything.

And finally…
Dungeons & Dragons has sort of had a little credibility Renaissance. I guess all things geek have, right? But D&D is starting to get this whole new sexiness added to it -- like a +1 to its charisma. Is it cuz hot(tish) women are saying that they starting to like it? Maybe. It started with the awesome Dungeon Majesty and soars to its explosive apex like a Melf's Minute Meteors spell (yeah, I went there) with I Hit it with My Axe, a reality web show where porn stars play D&D. Now, notice how that didn't say: "A reality web show where porn stars play D&D that exists solely in the part of my brain that initiates masturbation protocols." It's a real thing, son.

The Boba show

Superman, again
So, the big news today is that Warner Bros. is looking to reboot the Superman franchise... again. That's not news, really. They've talked about it for a bit. Seems no one liked that whole Superman-as-deadbeat-dad reboot. Go figure. Here's where it gets interesting, Warner is bringing in Christopher Nolan as an advisor on how to approach the new film(s). Keep in mind, he's (probably) not going to direct them but help Warner figure out what they should do. Hopefully that won't include making Superman "dark." Dark is Batman's territory, that's why it works for him. Superman is not dark. Also, Superman would not knock Lois Lane up and then bail. Superman saves planets and solar systems from giant planet and solar system-eating robots -- he doesn't stop half-baked real estate scams, no matter how big or how much Lex Luthor has to do with them. Anyway, hopefully things work out for Supes. Oh, the article also mentions that Nolan and co. have begun the script phase for the third Batman film.

24
Does the idea of a 24 film excite you? Then prepare to get even more excited. Are you prepared? Hmm? Good. Turns out the long-talked-about 24 film may happen. I might even go see that if it does.

Star Wars
That whole Star Wars live action (possibly) cable TV show is starting to gel. It sounds interesting on paper, I guess. Darker, more character driven, well written. Let's believe it when we see it but it just might work. I mean, I was skeptical about the Clone Wars and I kinda like that show. Although, this one is being billed as "Sopranos meets Deadwood in space" and apparently features a young Boba Fett "making his way in the universe" while dating a Twilek prostitute. Two out of three facts in that last sentence are true. Having trouble picking them out, aren't you?

EA busy
Electronic Arts is a big corporation. They make some good games, and if they don't they buy the companies that do. At their recent shareholders conference call they announced a buttload of new games and initiatives, including a 2011 release for the new Dragon Age game and Crysis 2, among others. They also mentioned that Dead Space 2 will now be a 2011 release instead of the original 2010 announcement.

And finally…
Hey, remember that EA conference call I just talked about? Yeah, they also announced that there will be something seriously "far-reaching" for Mass Effect coming in 2011 as well. What could that be? A lot of people are saying Mass Effect 3, but how "far-reaching" is that? It's the last part of a planned trilogy, it's sort of the opposite of "far-reaching," no? Could it be an MMO? The Mass Effect universe would definitely lend itself to one of those given all the different cultures and abilities and whatnot. But who knows? I guess we'll have to wait and see.

The Player: Mass Effect 2

Did I mention that I had to go on a suicide mission? Yeah, that is happening. Like, in the next day or so.

One of the things I love most about Mass Effect 2 is its focus on the goal. From the get-go, you know the stakes: Commander Shepard must assemble a team of the galaxy’s roughest and toughest to take on a mission so preposterously difficult, it’s (essentially) a suicide mission.

That’s pretty much the game right there. Yes, Mass Effect had Shepard focused on stopping a single foe as well, but getting from A to B included hours of traipsing about the galaxy exploring planets, stopping pirates, discovering artifacts and being awesome in many different ways. It was a lot of fun, it introduced us to the vast universe of the game and rounded out everything nicely with its sandbox-y feel.

In ME2, pretty much everything you do is about the mission. No more fucking about and chilling with space monkeys: shit got real. (Yes, Martin Lawrence/ Marcus Burnett real.) Once you take on the mission: you spend a lot of time recruiting your 11-member team. Then you spend a lot of time helping them sort shit out so their head can be in the game. When you’re not Mr. or Miss Human Resources, you’re collecting resources and tech to make your ship and weapons awesome enough so that some of you might come home – or at least make it so your enemies regret ever pissing you off.

I keep thinking of two analogies for the differences between the two games.

One is that Mass Effect was like a TV series, lots of breathing room, time to get to know a lot of different characters and mine the minutiae of the universe. ME2 is if they took that show and continued it in a two-hour blockbuster film. It’s concentrated, focused and all the more intense for it.

The other one is simple: Mass Effect was the regular season, ME2 is the playoffs. No more room for mistakes.

And it’s the mission (and 90% of the game’s focus on it) that makes it so. It’s always looming there. And now it’s all that’s left to do.

For my part, I’d say my companions deaths are what’s looming most. I don’t know if we’ll all make it back. I’m not going to say that I like everyone on my team, but I like most of them and there are even some whose deaths would upset me a lot.

All I know is that I’ve done my best, we're well prepared, we're pissed off and no matter what the odds, you should never count me out.

Tell Liara I love her…