"Maybe I'll just sit here and bleed at you."

More Elder Scrolls question mark?
Editors hate when you use a question mark at the end of a headline. They just do. Sure, they'll let you get away with it if it's a question that can't be answered with a simple yes or no -- like: "How did Hungarian nymphos become the best nymphos?" -- but they'd really prefer if you skipped it altogether. Got it? Since I don't have an editor, I'm going with the question mark headline. Suck it. Anyway, do you remember Fallout 3 studio Bethesda Softworks' seminal (heehee) Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion? Sure you do. That was the 2005 fantasy RPG that swallowed about 70-100 hours of your life at some point in the last few years whether you loved playing it or thought it laughable. That one. With its ridiculous combat mechanics, estimated three voice actors (one of which was Linda "Wonder Woman" Carter -- true!) yet incredibly engrossing and obsession-inducing quests and adventures. It was a lot like Fallout 3 in that any given session of play included some of the greatest and most terrible moments of gaming you had ever experienced -- sometimes simultaneously. It's a game you have to play if you consider yourself a gamer -- whether you like it or not is irrelevant. Okay, so, why am I going on about it? Well, there's a new Elder Scrolls novel coming out and this has once more fanned the Elder Scrolls V/Oblivion sequel flames. Not surprisingly, I'm both excited and dreading the prospect.

Brick
If you haven't seen Rian Johnson's Brick, please do. It's an incredible film. Even four years after its release, it's still fresh and unique. Unless you know of other convincing, 21st century high school-based Chandler-esque noir films out there. Here, Johnson discusses the production of the film.

Avatar
Want some new Avatar pics? Enjoy!

And finally…
I wanted to play Borderlands. It sounded like a long game I probably/ultimately wouldn't like but, shoot, I wanted to give it a go. It's a Mad Max-y romp set on a desolate and lawless planet and features, literally, billions millions of weapons. So, yeah, I didn't get a copy of the game. Well, I could always go out and buy me one, but, pft! A free one didn't come in the mail so I'm not playing it. Simple. Done. And it looks like a good thing, too. Well, if you compare this one dude's first opinion and then his next one 16 hours later. Guess I dodged a bullet there, huh?

Are you ready to Friday?

The A-Team
What do those new dudes playing the A-Team in that new A-Team movie look like, you may be asking? Why, they look like this, actually. Boom! That's them. Uh, is it wrong if I kinda dig it? Although, as people have mentioned, Liam Neeson is a little... distressing for some reason. At least these guys look like they'll shoot some drug dealing slum lord in the face while saving your family dry cleaning business, instead of creepy dirtbags who would try to pick you up at a bus station like the old dudes did.

Bone (heehee)
If you like comic books graphic novels and haven't read Jeff Smith's absolutely epic and awesome Bone series, well, then you'll be surprised to find out that, in fact, you don't actually like them. It's really that simple. So, go read them. Now, jerkweeds. We'll wait. (I'm lying, we won't.) Smith has recently mentioned that Warner Bros. is looking into creating a trilogy based on the beloved series. Sounds good maybe? Maybe.

Ghost in the Shell
More on the adaptation front: a live action, 3D extravaganza based on groundbreaking 1990s anime classic Ghost in the Shell is building up steam. I'd like for this to be good, I really, really, would, but I don't know.

Good games fail, bad games win
Sometimes bad things happen to good games and vice versa.

How do you say “WTF?” in Japanese?
As the lady says in the article: stick around until the end of the video. It's, uh, surprising to say the least.

Party Down
I don't know if you've seen Party Down but it's a pretty funny show. Any show with Jane Lynch and Martin Starr as cast members is going to be good, right? It's also highly improved and follows a group of struggling actors, screenwriters and other showbiz types working as caterers in LA. Anyway, good news for fans of the show as Lynch and cute-as-a-button guest star Kristen Bell will both be returning this season. Sweet!

And finally…
David Cross is a brave comedian. Fearless? Maybe. Courageous? Undeniably. Anyone who's heard his standup knows this. Well, now we know how far he'll go just to win a bet, too.

"No! It's my snake, I trained it, I'm going to eat it!"

Maybe cool?
There can never be enough post-apocalyptic games, right? Even with Fallout 3 sort of setting a (arguably) really high bar? Well, I say no, you can never have enough post-apocalyptic games. Especially when your game is set in post-apocalyptic Moscow. That's where Metro 2033 is set and that's pretty awesome. Looks like it'll basically be Fallout in Russia, but what's wrong with that, huh? And given Fallout 3's ridiculously low-rent shooting mechanics/controls, there's plenty of room for improvements here.

Mad Max
So, a Mad Max 4 helmed by original director/creator George Miller has been in the cards for the last couple of years. They keep talking about it. You keep hearing murmurs about it. It's probably going to get made, okay? First thing: There's going to be no sign of Mel Gibson in it, so I guess you can rest easy? But, if you believe some recent rumors, there may be some Charlize Theron in there. Yeah, that won't be too bad, right?

More like “Dead-house,” amiright?
Uh oh, now Entertainment Weekly's Michael Ausiello is saying that Dollhouse is being yanked during November sweeps. Guess it really is in trouble if sources have confirmed it. To him. Exclusively. Also, it's not good news when the Aus' "loves" your show since he can't shut up about how it's "doomed" and "doesn't stand a chance" and "is all but fucking gone-ass dead" (that may be a leetle bit of a paraphrase...) That sort of talk doesn't help get new viewers enthusiastic about checking out why you're raving about the show in the first place (see: Pushing Daisies and Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles and, almost, Friday Night Lights) but I'm sure it doesn't hurt the Aus's numbers, right? You know, because it's stuff that's source confirmed. To him. Exclusively. So people will go clickers for it.

January once more
GQ is providing even more pics of January Jones from her recent profile/photoshoot in the mag. God bless those guys. I figured I'd link to them, since you really can't get enough half-naked January Jones shots. And if you can, go fuck yourself.

BSG
Hey, remember that show that was on there for a while: Battlestar Galactica? And how it kinda mattered for a bit? You know, until the last episode was pretty much the worst last episode in the history of last episodes forever? Yeah, that one. Well, they've got some new movie-thingy coming out if you care. Here's a clip. In related news, the very tasty Katee Sackhoff will be making a cameo on The Big Bang Theory soon, very soon.

And finally…
In most places this would be completely inappropriate but in Brooklyn, I guess, it's just edgy humor.

"Not if you want to keep your spleen."

Reboot
Did any of you watch that CGI cartoon Reboot from way back when? I didn't really. Like, sometimes I would catch it but not very often. I always heard good things and it seemed to be pretty complex and pretty interesting from what I could glean. Well, it looks like the show is set for a -- wait for it -- reboot. LOL!

Hunk o’ junks
A space ship isn't awesome unless it's basically held together by panicked welding and prayer. Here's a cool list of hunk o' junk space ships.

Wolfman
I gotta say, I really don't care about this Wolfman movie with Benicio Del Toro but maybe you do? If so, here's the latest trailer.

American Psycho
I always thought that Christian Bale based his performance in the underrated adaptation of the novel on Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation, but according to Mary Harron, the film's director, he had a different inspiration for the character.

Brutal Legend
Once I finish Uncharted 2 and write up the review, I'm going to be firing this little baby into my Xbox -- and I can't wait. AV Club's glowing review of the Heavy Metal beast isn't helping my anticipation either.

And finally…
I think we can all agree that this is moderately funny.

"Good... Bad... I'm the guy with the gun."

Oddworld
Did you ever play the series of Oddworld games (primarily on the PS1 and (eventually) Xbox, but also Gameboy and for PCs as well)? If not, you could again -- well, if you have access to the Playstation Network, that is. On Thursday, you'll be able to download a couple of the games (Abe's Oddysee and Abe's Exoddus) on PSN. Sweet!

Bronson Pinchot?
Yes, Bronson Pinchot. He gives a (really) candid interview to the AV Club. Going off about Tom Cruise's (alleged) homophobia and Denzel Washington's (alleged) ass-clownery among other Hollywood tidbits.

Bruce Campbell
Sam Raimi has been talking about Spider-Man 4 quite a bit lately. Sam Raimi has been talking about Spider-Man 4 quite a bit to MTV lately, to be exact. The director has been understandably cagey with details, basically saying he'd like to keep things simple, get back to basics and probably just do one villain this time around. High fives! Also, he revealed that he'll have a meatier role for longtime pal Bruce Campbell. Most people are going to assume that means Campbell will be the villain (popular rumor: Mysterio), but I'm thinking no.

Sucky heroes
Cracked brings you six movie heroes (who sucked at their jobs) -- and they're right.

The Box
I don't know what to feel about upcoming thriller The Box. First off, the title makes me giggle. Then there's the whole Cameron Diaz being in it thing (i..e. I am so not a fan. But I like this.) And then there's Cyclops, who I can take or leave. But the movie is directed by Richard Kelly of Donnie Darko fame. That makes me kinda want to see it. He talks a bit about the movie here. And you can watch a trailer here, if you'd like.

And finally…
I had no idea this was an outtake they kept in the movie. That's some funny shit.

Monday (Boo!): NFL observations and the usual fun stuff

Welcome back. Hope you had a great weekend. I took 'er easy and, as a result, I'm a lot further along in Uncharted 2 (about 7.5 hours played; 78% complete) -- and it's definitely one of the year's best, a near-perfect game.

In NFL football, three teams remain undefeated with Denver playing tonight looking to make it four. I gotta say, though, things are kicking into high gear. The Saints are playing amazing football -- with QB Drew Brees and coach Sean Payton playing angry, which is how you win Super Bowls. They're sick of not winning Super Bowls and it's made them angry so now they're playing angry and they're gonna win some Super Bowls.

That's how it's done. There are three ways to win them. Play happy (Joe Namath, John Madden); play angry (the Bears, the Steelers) or play like robots (Patriots, Joe Montana, Peyton Manning). When you fall in between these extremes, you fail. It seems like that makes no sense, but think about it. See?

Anyway, on top of the Saints, you've got Peyton Manning putting on a clinic in Indy and now it looks like Tom Brady just woke up. Five TD passes in a quarter. If you get five in a game you're a hero. I don't even know how a team can have five offensive possessions in a quarter but, wow, okay.

As for Denver and Minnesota: meh, I'm not sold yet. I think the Vikings have a great team but it's going to come down to Favre staying healthy over the stretch and last year he didn't make it. It doesn't look like the Vikes are resting him either, so I don't know. November and December punish teams. Like, beat them to a pulp. We'll see if the old dude makes it.

The Broncs have a coach who appears to be playing angry (for some reason) but I think he's just an asshole -- there's a difference. I kinda feel they're the team that turns in a great 13-3 or 14-2 record but gets knocked out in their first playoff game. Like the Titans last year or the Cowboys the year before. Besides, Kyle Orton's moustache is too ironic to make it past the first round.

Anyway, the season just kicked into high gear and that means we're the ones who win, right? Right. On to the good stuff...

Borderlands
The reviews are starting to come in for this intriguing, stylish, self-styled role-playing-shooter from 2K. I'm hoping I'll get a review copy of this because it looks kinda bitchin'.

Killzone 3?
I liked Killzone 2 a lot. It didn't try to be anything but the best FPS on the market and I think they nailed it. Seeing first hand how much work Guerilla Games put into the various mechanics behind the title, it's no surprise that they'll be fast-tracking the next installment of the franchise using the mad-genius level of fundamentals they created. Read a couple of interviews (here and here) with some of the developers for more insight on the intense creative process.

The future of the X-Men film franchise (do we care?)
Do we care about the X-Men film franchises/properties any more? I mean, after X3 I stopped. Actually, not to be that guy, but I stopped once I heard Brett Ratner was directing X3. I haven't seen Wolverine, but I've heard it's pretty laughable. So I'm not that bullish on other films that might be planned. But they're out there. Oh, yes, they're out there. Here's a full update on where those all stand. In other X-Men news, a new DLC character for the cheesy-but-awesome Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 has been announced and it's Psylocke. That's not so bad, I'm thinking. Although, I really wish there was a huge database of almost all the Marvel characters available because I'd love to come up with some crazy four-hero combos. Here's the first one that comes to mind: Dazzler, Moon Knight, Master of Kung Fu and She-Hulk. Boom! Makes no sense but it's awesome. Also, you could recreate (sort of) some cool teams. Like do up that cool X-Men team that they had for like, two issues, with Dazzler, Psylocke, Havok and Longshot. And, man, how sweet would it be with some Alpha Flight downloads. Canada, represent. (Ugh)

Women of D&D
Topless Robot is an awesome blog. One of the things I like best about them is their in-your-face love of Dungeons & Dragons. They know we've all played it. They know we all know the references. They know we love it. Why hide it? This is one of their best D&D-related countdowns.

And finally…
Your tax dollars at work: The reboot.

The Player: Uncharted 2: Among Thieves

In “The Player,” you’re going to sit through me talking about the video games I’m playing at the moment. Awesome, right? I’ll give you some observations, complaints, compliments, snack suggestions and so forth.

At the moment, I’m playing giant PS3 exclusive Uncharted 2: Among Thieves. According to the game’s statistics, I’m 4+ hours into the game (or 33%, again, according to the game) and I think I can officially say it’s really, really good.

I really enjoyed Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune, so I’m not surprised that I’m digging this one – but I am surprised at how much Naughty Dog have stepped up their game.

I thought the first game – like some other early PS3 games – was treated harshly. Stuff like Drake’s... and the also chronically underrated Heavenly Sword got okay reviews, like high sevens, early eights, but never got the crazy accolades that your Gears of Wars and Halos got. I’m not sure how much better those games could realistically have been, though. In my humble opinion, they were pretty amazing. I may talk about my deep love for Heavenly Sword some other day, but as for Drake’s Fortune, you got an incredibly conceived, exciting, well-executed adventure game with great voice acting and top drawer dialogue. More importantly, there was a really solid foundation for a franchise there. Like Indiana Jones or Lara Croft or James Bond, you wanted to see Nathan Drake in other adventures and learn everything you could about him and the world he lived in.

For those who didn’t see that before, there’s going to be no mistaking it with Uncharted 2. Among Thieves is highly polished, incredibly exciting, and its focus on integrating cinematic flourishes with gameplay is unparalleled and brings gaming to a new level. And then you have the storytelling, characters and voice acting, which are unrivaled. There’s an audacity to the game that can’t help but make you laugh with the kind of joy you probably last had when watching a great action or adventure film.

And that’s the point, I would assume. Naughty Dog have taken the best of action-adventure movies and made you the star of one. That’s a pretty sweet deal, no?
Check out a trailer