Only four days left

Mass Effect 2
Well, it's the home stretch now. Mass Effect 2 is out in less than four days. To you, those will feel like four days. To me, they will feel like four eternities squished together and slathered with eon icing. I was holding onto a hope that I might get a review copy delivered before the end of the day but, yeah, no. That's cool. Maybe Monday? If not then, then Tuesday I'll either get a review copy, my collector's edition or both. I know, I sound like Gollum -- and I'll probably look like him when I emerge from my cave/couch weeks from now, having completed several playthroughs of awesomeness. Until I get the game in my grubby little hands, I will watch this launch trailer until my synapses fry -- with tears of joy streaming down my face.

Lost
Hey, are you ready for the return (and final season) of Lost? If you're like me, you can't remember anything about last season and will scramble to (unsuccessfully) catch up as much as possible before it airs. A cool thing about the show's impending return is all the fun viral-y stuff hitting the net. Like this and this. Enjoy!

Cable
Why is cable TV better than network? Hey, how about because there's going to be a Walking Dead TV series and one for George R.R. Martin's A Game of Thrones, too.

And finally…
Japan. It's a hell of a place.

Pump Fake: Heading into the semis

Well, the Cowboys are out. They deserve to be after that shite performance. On the bright side: my ulcer can rest – at least until the World Cup in June, anyway. Bright side part deux: the Chargers are out, too. Sweet! I guess what bugs me more about the Cowboys-Vikings game was that it was a bad game that could have been really awesome. Oh well.

(Record: Last week: 2-2; Total: 5-3)

NY Jets vs. Indianapolis Colts
Here’s the thing: Yeah, the Jets are this sexy, wild Cinderella ride right now. And yeah, it would be something else to see them beat the Colts (again) and cruise into a seemingly destiny-filled Super Bowl appearance. Who wouldn’t want to see that, right? But, hey, friends, Cinderella rides suck when they don’t go all the way into the station and – I may be completely wrong here – but I don’t think the Jets have what it takes to beat any of the teams left. Then again, I thought they couldn’t beat the Chargers either. Still, there are a few things that make Indy extremely dangerous in this one. 1) They’re riding out their first ever playoff win with Peyton coming off a bye week. And 2) the Colts have something to prove here. That last loss against the Jets sucked and they’re looking to set that straight. Peyton Manning and those dudes are not people you want to piss off. Especially when you were the first team to spoil his perfect season. Especially when it’s just you standing between him and the Super Bowl game. Should be a great game. (And then maybe George R.R. Martin can get back to work on the next A Song of Ice and Fire book he's been working on for, like, 18 friggin' years or whatever...)

Winner: Indianapolis

Minnesota Vikings vs. New Orleans Saints
This one seems simple at first. While the Vikings played a good game, the Cowboys lost that game more than they won it. When you look at the Saints, they destroyed a Cardinals team that was playing full burn. That tells me the New Orleans team that came up with 13 wins this season is back, rather than that New Orleans team that posted three losses. But then there’s Brett Favre, so it gets dodgy. I’m still going to pick New Orleans, because I think they’re the better team and I’d love to see a Peyton Manning vs. Drew Brees Super Bowl. But if the Jets beat the Colts, I’d rather the Vikes win, too, that way the weird flukiness is cancelled out.

Winner: New Orleans

The Player: Dragon Age: Origins – “Return to Ostagar” DLC

Being an unashamed Dragon Age nerd, when I heard that the slightly delayed “Return to Ostagar” downloadable content pack had popped onto Xbox Live available for purchase yesterday, I was pretty damn excited to say the least. I made a promise to myself that the first thing I did when I got home was to crank up the Xbox and buy it. Promise achieved.

And soon after, I started playing it. And soon after that, I finished it.

That’s what you do with DLC, right? You download ‘em, you play ‘em and – soon after – you finish ‘em. No biggie. So what?

Well, when I got into work today I noticed there was a total clusterfuck ensuing surrounding the DLC. There was a bug. They pulled it from Xbox Live. Etc. and etc.

I guess I’m in a weird position as someone who’s played it, so I’ll offer up a review of sorts.

For starters, the bug didn’t give me any problems, and I was able to finish the pack and get the achievement. Apparently, the glitch messes around with characters’ specializations but I didn’t encounter anything like that. Things seemed to be running normally, so, yeah, there you have it.

Possible spoilers ahead:

For those who don’t know, “Return to Ostagar” follows The Warden back to the tragic battlefield where King Cailan and the Grey Wardens were sold out by Loghain to a Darkspawn horde – who slaughtered them all to a man. Or so you were led to believe. Turns out, there were other survivors of the Battle at Ostagar besides you, Alistair and Wynne. After coming across one of the King’s honor guard – a man who should be dead – you learn that King Cailan’s body, his armor, his sword and other important artifacts are still at the battle site and must be retrieved.

And that’s basically it. You head back to Ostagar. You kill a bunch of Darkspawn. You retrieve the artifacts. You are a hero. (I’m leaving out a few details, of course.)

What struck me soon after arriving at Ostagar was how eerie it was to be back. Dragon Age nerds will totally see what I mean when they play this. A nice slice of the original game was set here – but back before it was spoiled by the Darkspawn. Now, it is a broken ruin (well, it was a ruin before, technically, but now it’s extra ruined) and it creeps you out a little, especially because you remember your way around and see what’s been done to the place.

Outside of that, the DLC is pretty much a straight grind. No real twists. No new revelations, really (there is one, I guess, but it’s nothing mind-blowing.) But there is a lot of gear, even when you don’t count the King’s armor, sword and shield. Some surprise booty, too, which is always good (LOL! ** eye roll **)

I would recommend bringing Alistair and Wynne, most definitely, because they have a lot of DLC-motivated dialogue. I had Leliana with me and she didn’t say a peep that related to the Ostagar trip. I can’t really think of any other party members that might have dialogue that would have any sort of emotional stake here outside of being your friend, so definitely take those two and add whoever.

Now on to the bug question: Is it worth the 400 points?

In short: yes. If you love the game, get the DLC (uh, when it’s available again, of course.) It’s nothing insane but it’s a fun bit of closure. It buttons up the overall story arc nicely and would fit in well just before you head into Denerim for the buildup to the Landsmeet.

I’m hoping future DLC will be a little beefier, though.

Spider-Man go bye-bye

Spider-Man 4 epic clusterfuck action
Wow. Well, I guess that was one way to go with it, Sony. Most would have gone the "we want to make truckfuls of money AND a good movie" route, but I guess siding on the "fail-arity ensues" tip is something, too. While one might now segue to this story about Tobey Maguire's extracuricular hobbies involving the Spidey suit and mock, I think this is pretty awesome.

Yvonne S. talks Mass Effect 2
Chuck actor Yvonne Strahovski talks a bit about her (chunky) role in the upcoming BioWare extravaganza.

Conan, Leno, Letterman, the Incredible Hulk
It seems everyone has an opinion on this Leno-Conan-NBC thing. Seriously. Everyone. David Letterman? He has an opinion. The Incredible Hulk? He, too, has an opinion. Me? Do I have an opinion? Sure. I guess I think NBC are stupid poopy faces and Leno is a jerky man. Conan is ok, though. I think he should quit the network and it should go something like this.

Transformers
Even before Michael Bay and all that shizz, I was never much of a Transformers guy. I was more of a G.I. Joe guy, so, really, this isn't about being cooler than anyone, it's just a matter of taste. And, really, the use of that word to describe it all is tenuous at its most tenuous. Regardless, the new Transformers: War for Cybertron game is starting to look and sound pretty tasty. It's not up there with the Mass Effects and Dragon Ages of the gaming universe for me, but I'm looking forward to checking it out, definitely.

Fringe
I like Fringe. I've become a fan of the show and its paranormal shenanigans. Dunham is intense. Peter is Pacey with a gun. And Walter is one of the coolest characters on TV right now. I watch it on a regular basis and watch when it is airing so I get my Anna Torv the way she was meant to be seen: in HD. Fox moved the show -- somewhat controversially -- from Tuesday to Thursday this season, where it goes up against, like, every popular show on TV at the moment. Still, it's apparently doing well, according to Fox, and it looks good that it will get a third season. I like how Fox is all obtuse about it. But still, good news, I guess? And producer J.J. Abrams seems enthusiastic enough to talk about looking into the show's future, too.

And finally…
If you watch Lost, or ever have, you'll probably get a kick out of this.

Breaking Bad, Mass Effect 2, Star Trek 2 and more

Fight for the Lost
Okay, guys, it's 15 more sleeps until Mass Effect 2. Yes, it will be the longest, most uncomfortable 15 sleeps of our lives but it's getting close now. Can you feel it? Less than half a month away. Awesome. To drive us even more insane, BioWare has released some cool little vids about a bunch of the characters in the game -- all under the "Fight for the Lost" campaign, referring to the various human colonies that have gone missing that the intrepid Commander Shepard must get to the bottom of. In the video we have the "savage," Grunt, the "assassin," Thane, the "loyalist," Miranda, and the latest featuring the "psychopath" known as "Subject Zero." Good times. Although, the "loyalist and the psychopath" sounds like a morning radio show team. Also, before the holidays, Destructoid ran a cool piece on how the experience of playing through the first game as a female Commander Shepard is not only a better experience, it's the definitive one. I have to agree. I only had one playthrough as a dude Shep, which was refreshing, but not as solid as playing as lady-Shep.

Star Trek
More from Good News Town: Star Trek 2 gets a release date.

LEGO
LEGO video games are the tits. Fun to play (despite some glitches) and they always put a smile on your face. We can all agree on that. But do you like LEGO games enough to be part of a LEGO MMO? That's pretty hardcore, yeah? Maybe this trailer will change your mind.

Breaking Bad
More great news: Breaking Bad season 3 gets a premiere date.

Green Lantern
I realized today that I haven't been covering the Green Lantern movie much. That's because I don't care about the Green Lantern movie much. I have nothing against Ryan Reynolds. He seems like a good bloke. But I don't have anything for him, either. He's kinda just there -- a vanilla-beige collection of meh. Also, I guess I don't put much hope into these superhero films until they're done and I hear good things. And even then, not so much. Anyway, I figured that I need to get my head out of my ass a little more, so here's some GL news: Blake Lively of "Gossip Girl" and boobs fame is set to star as the "love interest." Or Carol Ferris to you geeks out there.

The A-Team
The trailer is here! What do you think? Maybe?

Inception
This has been around for a while, but here's the trailer for Christopher Nolan's Inception and it looks all kinds of weird -- but also all kinds of awesome. Great cast, too: DiCaprio, Ellen Page, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cotillard, Ken Watanabe, Cillian Murphy, and Sir Michael (Fucking) Caine.

And finally…
This CBS David Caruso lookalike contest is kinda brilliant.

Pump Fake: Wild Card weekend into week two

Playoff time in the NFL never disappoints, does it? Some great stuff on the weekend, though not many surprises, I guess.

Breaking things down:

Bengals – Jets: Based on what I saw the week before, I wasn’t surprised that the Jets took this one. They’re playing pretty good football right now and are riding a Cinderella high that may take them past the Chargers next week. Maybe? It would be awesome if that were true, actually. The Bengals were banged up and Chris Henry’s death was a terrible blow in an already tragic season for the team.

Cowboys – Eagles: Yeah, I was pretty happy about this game. Dallas is looking pretty good these days. More important, they look like they know it and they look like they can smell the blood in the Super Bowl tank. Philadelphia is a great team with great players and they had no answer for the Cowboys. McNabb and co. looked completely shell-shocked on the sidelines – it made me laugh a bit. Still, no gloating or trash talking. Don’t want to jinx things. (And, yeah, let’s pretend that whole Jerry Jones high-fiving George W. Bush thing never happened…)

Patriots – Ravens: I took the Pats in this one but wasn’t surprised at how pwn’d they were by Baltimore. Without Welker, New England is just another team whose few weapons can’t outweigh their weak O and D lines. The Ravens are grinders and I would never relish playing those dudes in the playoffs.

Cardinals – Packers: Crazy game. I’m glad the Packers forced it into OT, but what a terrible way to lose. Warner looked amazing and I think he’s looking to possibly end his career in a blaze of glory and out-Favre Brett Favre. I’m sort of feeling a Cardinals – Cowboys NFC Championship game, don’t quote me on that though.

(Record: 3-1)

Okay, this weekend will definitely see some upsets happening. Come on! There’s got to be at least one, right?

SATURDAY

Arizona Cardinals v. New Orleans Saints
The Cards are the hot team going into this and Kurt Warner is definitely on a tear. And, as mentioned before, this team was one defensive series away from stealing the Super Bowl from Pittsburgh last year – so they’re probably pretty damn hungry. The week off (and inevitable rustiness) aside, New Orleans did not look like a 13-3 team by the end of the season. They were slumping and very unconvincing. That said, they’re coached by Sean Payton and quarterbacked by Drew Brees. Those are two dudes who should never be dismissed when discussing the Saints chances at anything. If you’re Arizona, you want to get in there and score pretty damn fast and keep the Big Easy off balance. If Brees and the boys settle in and get their groove, it could be a long night.

Winner: Saints

Baltimore Ravens v. Indianapolis Colts
I think this game will be close. It may even involve one of Payton Manning’s (now) signature ridiculously spectacular comebacks. But the Colts will win. I think the two losses at the end of the season and the total clusterfuck surrounding the first one, will make them angry and out to prove something, more than anything else. The Ravens are – as I said – grinders, and QB Joe Flacco doesn’t choke in the playoffs – but he’s no Payton Manning yet.

Winner: Colts

SUNDAY

Dallas Cowboys v. Minnesota Vikings
Part of me thinks that this one is going to be a blowout for the Cowboys. Then another part of me remembers the horseshoe Brett Favre has inserted in a certain part of his anatomy – and yeah, also that Minnesota is damn good team – and you know it won’t be that easy. Having Marion Barber healthy would make things a lot easier for Dallas, but I think the offense and the defense are well oiled machines right now and can shut things down and get in Favre’s face. For Minnesota, they need Adrian Peterson to be a factor in the game or it’s going to be a long night. If he’s not threatening big runs every play, Favre’s not going to be as effective.

Winner: Cowboys

New York Jets v. San Diego Chargers
Man, I’d love the Jets to win this. I really would. I can’t stand the Chargers. They’re one of the few NFL teams I actually despise. It might just be QB Phillip Rivers, though. I don’t know. Dude, leave the trash talking and fight instigating to the rest of your team. You’re the QB. You need to be aloof and focused, like a Buddha or Doctor Manhattan or a cybernetic god. So, yeah, the Jets – can they do it? Maybe? They’re the Cinderella story and that goes a long way – and it’s not like it would suck to play in the San Diego weather right now, right? But the Chargers have a lot of experience in the playoffs. Also, I think Rivers is the right kind of angry to get to the Super Bowl this year if his team stays focused and healthy. Also, they’ve won 11 straight games. Read that sentence again. Yeah. Sure, a bunch of them are against their division (Denver, Oakland, Kansas City) but still. That’s crazy.

Winner: Chargers

Dragon Age, Zelda, Spider-Man 4 and more

(Thanks, Gamma Squad for the image)

Dragon Age: Origins – Awakening
The whole Dragon Age: Origins expansion pack gumbo -- called: Awakening, if you remember -- is getting spicy and tasty sounding. BioWare has released a pretty sweet trailer and other assets for the package and, if you've played some of the fantastic RPG, it'll probably get the juices flowing. It's late. Sorry.

Zelda
Say what you want about Nintendo Wii. Say its your grandma's favorite console. Say its for chumps and wankers. Stick your tongue out at it. Whatever. Still, when I tell you a new Zelda game is set for this year (!) you're gonna head over to your grandma's and get on her good side.

Spider-Man 4…delayed!
Yep. The next Spidey film is having trouble getting off the ground as director Sam Raimi and Sony execs are squabbling over the script and villains and whatnot.

Call of Duty
The Call of Duty franchise is so damn huge it needs two developers working on it. Massaging it. Minding its mineral bath. Growing it in vats. Etc. That way, businessmen and frat dudes get to pwn each other online 24/7/365 (are we still saying that?) every year. One year, Infinity Ward puts out their crazy popular Modern Warfare version of the title; the next year, Treyarch heads back to World War II for some Nazi-shooting fun. Or do they? While Treyarch's last installment had a secret Nazi zombie level, it was also met with a lot of meh when it was released. Well, this time around the team is looking to shake things up. Large. We're talking venue change large. Scratch that! We're talking potentially controversial venue change large. Rumors are starting up that the next Call of Duty may take place during the Vietnam War. Edgy, right? I think this could be awesome or a total shit show, so I'm kind of bullish on the idea but we'll see. Regardless, y'all should probably leave out the zombies this time around.

YES!!! (but no)
Saruman Christopher Lee has recorded a heavy metal album. Do I need to go on? Listen.

Seanbaby + Steven Seagal = awesome
Gold!

And finally…
Have y'all seen that 70-minute review of The Phantom Menace that's floating around? It's awesome and spot on. Here's an interview with the dude who made it and you can see the video there, too, if you haven't. Then, when you remember how bad the movie/prequels were, you can head here and you'll know what to do...

Rushed

Force Unleashed
I liked the Force Unleashed. Not many people did, apparently. I think expectations for the Sith-y Star Wars game were (understandably) pretty high and fell short a bit. For me, I just liked using force powers and cutting shit up with my lightsaber. Now, though, we're going to need things to get stepped up a bit, right? Can't just be dazzled with a few force throws and saber slices, yeah? On that note: Here's a cool "wish list" for the recently announced sequel.

Dragon Age: Origins
It's a bad news-good news day in the world of Dragon Age today. Bad news: the "Return to Ostagar" DLC that was supposed to launch today has been delayed indefinitely. Boo! Meanwhile, the good news: BioWare has announced a full, 15-hour expansion called Awakening for March. Yay! Seriously, I've played the shit out of this game -- and will continue to do so for a few more weeks -- and it still keeps showing me new twists and turns. I think by March, though, it will be time for some new Dragon Aging and my interest in the game will definitely need an... awakening. Andithankyou.

Hmmm
The Onion's AV Club is some good internet. They offer up a darn good skew on all things pop culture-y. Their head isn't up their own ass but they're also pretty free of fluff, too. It's a nice balance. That being said: AV Club did their games of the year and put (spoiler alert) Batman: Arkham Asylum as No. 1. I have no problem with that, Batman: Arkham Asylum (and most of the games on their list) would be on my best of 2009 list, too -- maybe not at No. 1, but still. I loved that game. Many people did. That's not my problem. What is my problem is that the AV Club said Batman: Arkham Asylum was a “lean” game that “clocks in at around 8 hours.” Uhm, I’m no games wiz admittedly, but I’m (according to the game) 53% of the way through the game and I’ve played over 24 hours. No matter how much I suck, there’s no way someone is cutting through that game in 8 hours. Also, no Uncharted 2 (the game I would put as No. 1 in 2009) on the list. Like, at all. And, according to the comments, it was rated higher by AVC than some games on the list. I call bullshit.

And finally...
Topless Robot takes a look at the ten best Justice League and Justice League Unlimited episodes. The list really drives home what an incredible show it was. Extremely underrated.

Pump Fake: Just in time for the playoffs

Another NFL season is over. Blood is being sopped up with a gritty sponge. Bones are being reset. Tears have been shed. Wings have been eaten. And now we can all look forward to the playoffs – which seem a little odd, to say the least. I missed my chance to do a full season of “Pump Fake” this year, but I’d like to get in on the playoffs if you don’t mind. And yeah, I took some time off and it might seem weird to go with this as my first entry of 2010 and – suck it. I want to write about football. I’m going to write about football.

SATURDAY

New York Jets v. Cincinnati Bengals
I’m curious to see what answer the Bengals have for the Jets after last night’s thrashing. It’s not like Cincinnati was resting people or playing things close to the chest. They just got their asses beat. Can the Jets keep things going – especially if they’re heading into Cincinnati and especially if, well, they’re the Jets? I say… sure?

Winner: Jets

Philadelphia Eagles v. Dallas Cowboys
Another re-do game. Full disclosure: Dallas is my team. That said, I think if Dallas can win this game, they’re my pick for the NFC for the Super Bowl. Hell, I think they might even be my pick for winning the Super Bowl. They’re playing some good football right now. The defense is solid. Romo is throwing well and keeping INTs to a minimum. And the running and passing game is hitting things hard from all over the place. Still, they have to win this next game. And still, the Eagles are the Eagles. I hate them but that’s only because they’re the Eagles and I like Dallas – they’re still a damn good team. And they have the Cowboys number a lot of the time. It won’t be the same Eagles team as yesterday. The team that didn’t get in Tony Romo’s face. The team that didn’t execute. The Eagles will be playing hard and with something to prove. But so will Dallas. The Cowboys exorcised their December and Philadelphia demons but they still have their playoff ones to contend with. Should be a good game.

Winner: Cowboys

SUNDAY

Baltimore Ravens v. New England Patriots
Ugh. This game hurts my head. No one is scared of the Patriots anymore, it seems. And especially not when Wes Welker is gone. But these guys went 11-5 without Tom Brady last year and that tells you what Bill Bellichik implies with his gruff demeanor: it’s not just about the players, it’s about the plays. I’m not always convinced but the Ravens are so hot and cold this year, I think I’ll just go with the “system” and the home team here.

Winner: Patriots

Green Bay Packers v. Arizona Cardinals
Clearly the Cardinals we saw play the Packers yesterday will not be the same team who takes the field on Sunday. They were playing things close to the chest and seeing what Green Bay was all about. Some observations: Kurt Warner is a veteran, Super Bowl winning QB who led Arizona there last year and, save for one miraculous catch, would have won it; Green Bay QB Aaron Rodgers is a playoff newb and one who gets shaky under heavy pressure. He also looks like Ryan from The Office. What does this tell us? I don’t know and I don’t know who’s going to win this game so I’ll guess…

Winner: Cardinals

First!

Hello. Welcome to 2010. Awesome. Now we only have eight years to make the world look like Blade Runner. Come on, people! More pollution! More rain! More Japanese chicks! More off world colonies! More flying cars! Sheesh.

Sorry about the lack of posts over the last little while. Part laziness, part busy-ness. As the holidays approach, working on the internet before is about posting tons of material for people who won't read it because they are on holidays. Sweet, I know. And it doesn't leave you in the mood to write about stuff you like -- that's just the way it goes down.

Anyway, this year is going to be great, I can just feel it. Just you wait.