The Player: Dragon Age: Origins

I ended up “buying” this one. Well, I used some Game Stop store credit to pick it up. I hate doing that but what can you do? Sometimes you have to live like the other half and all that.

I’m a fantasy RPG fan from way back. Like, pencils, paper and polyhedral dice way back. Yes, I’m a D&D geek and I make no apologies. Loving the shit out of that kind of stuff and talking and thinking incessantly about it has led to this point. “What point is that?” you ask? Getting paid to talk and think and write about that kind of stuff… FOR A LIVING. So, suck it.

So, yeah, Dragon Age: Origins – I picked it up. Considering the enormity of this sort of game (I’ve heard this thing runs close to 70-80 hours), you’ll probably get a few of these entries detailing my crazy (fake) adventures and whatnot.

To start, BioWare is all about RPGs. They’ve been doing expansive video game RPGs for years. They continually push the envelope with these things. It’s edge of the seat type stuff, yeah? RPG gold that has you obsessed after only an hour of play. If you compiled a list of best all time RPGs, I’m thinking they’d score a few in there. Maybe even the top one. I know they make my favorite: Mass Effect. Sure, that’s not a fantasy one but still, it’s BioWare at their RPG-loving best.

I decided to go with the standard: male, human, fighter. The vanilla of fantasy characters. I’m also a noble, but that was the only choice available. I’ve played about two hours and things are already hardcore addictive. The whole “origins” thing in the title is that the first part of the game sets up an origin for your character – and they have different ones depending on your race and social standing. I guess it really amps up the replayability. Without getting spoilery, my origin had some sex, some sweetness and lots of tragedy. I’m not even sure I’m finished my origin yet. Right now I’m hanging out with the King’s army and trying to complete a special task that will help me join this special group of warriors called the Grey Wardens. Their job is to fight all the bad shit in the world. Sounds awesome, right?

I don’t think I’ve even scratched the surface yet but this weekend I’m pretty sure I will. I think I’m just on the surface. Or maybe above it in a sea plane or whatever. There’s still a shit ton of political intrigue, supernatural terror and crazy fantasy action to come.

"There is no reason for land mines in Delaware"

Mass Effect 2
Yeah, yeah, I go on a lot about Mass Effect 2. Especially since it hasn't even been released yet. To be fair, the original is probably my favorite game (yes, my favorite) and this one is making that look like Pac Man, so maybe you can understand why I might be so damned excited about it. Also, I watched all the ME2 bits in this episode of Game Trailers.

John Cusack: Not as nice as you were led to believe
John Cusack is one of those dudes who plays the right kinda nice guy in films. He's not syrupy or a pussy, he's cool and funny -- like an older brother or something or a best man. But I've just seen too many moments like this one and now this one -- where he just seems like a dick with no sense of humor -- to believe he's actually like that.

Crazy Beatles
This is a pretty cool alternate timeline that outlines what would happen if the Beatles got back together and accepted Lorne Michaels' legendary offer. I always wondered how cool it would be if they had. Now I have an idea.

TV
AV Club's list of the best TV series of the '00s is a little on the nose but, really, how can you argue with most of these? Although, I'm not sure I'd classify Buffy as an '00s show, to be honest.

And finally…
Another magical, awesome Email from an asshole.

Hogan to Mass Effect 2?

I can't seem to find this anywhere else, but IMDB is a pretty good source: it looks like Colonel Tighe himself, Battlestar Galactica's (and Canada's) Michael Hogan is doing a voice in upcoming BioWare game Mass Effect 2 -- if you believe his IMDB page (which I kinda do.) Doesn't say who he's playing but maybe based on the close proximity to an upcoming Game Trailers TV (Thursday Nov. 12) piece on the 2010 title, it could be shady figure the "Illusive Man." Any way you look at it, though, Hogan = awesomeness. So, yeah, thought you should know.

My Spider sense is tingling (Maybe some other parts, too)

Black Cat
Some big rumors afoot in Spidey-ville. Here's the breakdown: it looks like one of the Wall Crawler's adversaries in the fourth film is going to be Black Cat. Sure, she's basically a Catwoman rip off, but a lot has been done and a lot could be done with her. As a character, too. (And I thank you...) Anyway, let's set our mood organs to "positive" for this, so far. The rumors get more specific with actress Romola Garai (allegedly) auditioning and (wait for it) Rachel McAdams as well. I don't know, Rachel McAdams as a femme fatale feline anti-hero? Meh. Not seeing it but maybe? At least she can act. And is cute as a button, of course. (I think my Canadian citizenship gets revoked if I don't put that in there -- it's bad enough I use US spelling.) Remember though, these are all rumors -- including Black Cat even being in the film. Still, as a love interest of Spidey's, 'Cat has the potential of impacting his personal and super-heroic life. That's the sort of stuff Sam Raimi liked using in the first two movies. Oh, all right, I guess he tried to do that in the third one, too.

Good.
Steven Spielberg and Will Smith's planned remake of awesome Korean film Oldboy has (thankfully) been shitcanned. I'm not being a typical bloggy hater dude who's cheering because some obscure thing I like is not being made into a bloated Hollywood abortion. I do that sometimes but not now. Promise. I like Spielberg and have been known to like Smith on occasion, but there's just no way they would have been able to do this film. Sorry. They just couldn't. There's just too much over-the-top stuff -- and the twist at the end? Come on. No way. Let 'em do some other kind of fancy movie magic together. Some sci-fi or something like that maybe.

Mad Men
Did you watch the season finale of Mad Men this week? What did y'all think? Some huge stuff going on, right? Looks like next season is shaping up to be a doozy. Ambiguous enough for all you spoiler-free types? Good. Here's an interview/season 3 post-mortem with series creator Matthew Weiner. There's spoilers, by the way.

Fringe
So, J.J. Abrams is all cheery about Fringe taking some ratings hits thanks to being placed in a hyper-competitive timeslot, huh? Not sure I would be. Especially now that EW's Michael Ausiello is circling it and dropping the C word. Considering Fox moved the show to a night and timeslot that is killing it, I would say maybe they should take responsibility and move it back or somewhere better, no? Although, the almost-assured cancellation of Dollhouse is a good thing if you're a Fringe fan, I guess. After all, Fox does need to have at least one sci-fi show to hold up when everyone is crying over Firefly Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles Dollhouse, right?

Oh my.
What happens when Sir Ian McKellan drops in on the ladies from The View? Wow. Just wow.

Saboteur
Upcoming WWII open world game The Saboteur looks like a lot of fun. Instead of your usual one man v. the Nazis you... well... sure, you're still one man v. the Nazis, but this time you're Irish! And a saboteur! And you wear a leather jacket and a cool hat! Plus, you get to whore around Paris. Slap Nazis in the face. Shoot zeppelins out of the air. All that shit. And you get to do it whenevs and howevs you want. The game is launching before Christmas, which gives me some hope that it just might be awesome. Oh well, at the very least it'll be the best Irish WWII saboteur video game of the year -- and that's something, right?

And finally…
Did you want X-Men 3? Yes, yes you did. Did you like the X-Men 3 you got? No, not one bit. But really, why was that? In a nutshell, the dudes who had made the first two films weren't involved in the third one. But what if they were? How would it all have turned out? Curious? Hmmm? (sorry) Well, X2 writer Michael Dougherty has revealed the direction in which he and original X-Men series director Bryan Singer were headed. Gotta say, I like it.

And we're back

Mass Effect 2
Some more sweetness where Mass Effect 2 is concerned. This video has officially stopped me from being a Mass Effect apologist and launched me into "I told you so" mode. On top of introducing the Collectors and their scary badassery, you meet Legion -- a Geth (a synthetic life-form that were a major enemy from the first game) that is not only an individual but one that's obsessed with your character. That is just awesome. I don't care who you are. Now you guys apologize to me for not playing Mass Effect in the first place. And here are some screenshots, too, with minor spoilers if you're worried about that sort of thing.

HTTM
Sometimes the world isn't big enough for beautiful ideas. They spark brilliantly in the mind of some absurd, hermit dream engineer and tragically fade into obscurity never to be heard. It's a sad truth, my friends, but one we can all agree on. But sometimes, just sometimes, an idea filled with heart-crushing beauty explodes into the world with the force of a million shattered rainbows shattering. Well, that idea has found its time. That idea is a film. That idea stars John Cusack (among others). That idea, my dear little monsters, is Hot Tub Time Machine. Let the always wonderful Mr. Cusack fill you in on the whole breathtaking conjuration.

Wow. Why?
Life in 21st Century North America is harrowing to say the least, right? So many things commanding your attention, so little of it actually important to you. Who can remember it all? A phone number here. A waxing appointment there. You're bound to forget some stuff, ya? Keeping that in mind, let me remind you (you know, in case you forgot) that between 2003-2009, the Sci-Fi Network took corny 1970s Star Wars also-ran, Battlestar Galactica, and rebooted it into one of the most critically acclaimed television programs of the last decade. I'm totally fucking serious. It featured intense character drama and chewed around ideas of faith, rebirth, cyclical history, politics, idealism vs. pragmatism, among others -- all while presenting a subtextual debate on the U.S. led invasion of Iraq and the War on Terror. It was some damn fine television for the most part and, thanks to it, Battlestar Galactica means something good rather than this. So, yeah, that's my joke, BSG is memorable and a triumph. Anyway, Bryan Singer wants to reboot the original show for film, too, now. Yeah...

Clash of the Titans
I liked the original Clash of the Titans, but I'm sure a lot of that is just nostalgia. It's probably got some bad acting in places. And dated hair or whatever. Still, it had swords, sorcery, some Ray Harryhausen effects all up in it, greek mythology and a half-naked Ursula Andress, so there's that. Anyway, I'm totally cool with the possibility that this remake may be good. Here are some posters for it. Decide for yourself.

Jim Carrey
Yup, this is pretty much what you're going to expect from Jim Carrey's official site.

And finally…
What's better than slave Leia? Two slave Leias sunbathing, that's what. (We would also except: naked slave Leia and slave Leia bringing me a sub and a drink.) And yeah, that's Carrie Fisher back in the day.

Some good, some bad, some Tuesday

Prince of Persia
In case you haven't been, you know, awake in the last 24 hours, here is the trailer for Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. I liked Sands of Time the video game a lot. It was a damn fine title. One of the best. Just ask Metacritic. And I like Jake Gyllenhaal. If it weren't for Secretary Maggie, he would be my favorite Gyllenhaal. And I definitely like Gemma Arterton. I don't even have a problem with them adapting the game into a movie/franchise in theory. But this trailer isn't showing me anything. It just seems really bad. Bad accents. Bad jokes. Just bad.

30 Rock? More like Zero Rock, amiright?
Ze Germans don't like ze 30 Rock. Shocking, ja? Nein. Wow, you mean a show rife with (North) American pop culture references, meta riffs and inside jokes can't be funny when it's translated into another language? Crazy.

Trek 2
So MTV tried to get J.J. Abrams to talk a bit about the next Star Trek film and he said some stuff but didn't say anything, know what I mean? That's not the issue for me, though. It makes sense he wouldn't have anything to say because, as far as I can tell, there's nothing to tell. The writers haven't even finalized an idea, let alone a script. No, what bugs me is this continuing (and growing) subtext that the press is perpetuating where Abrams, Orci and Kurtzman HAVE to remake/reboot/reimagine Khan. Why is this happening? I have no doubt that the team behind the films will ignore this but it still bugs me. Can't we just enjoy some new adventures based in the universe? Why do we need to remake something that has no business being remade? I know that everyone involved realizes that what made Star Trek the most successful film in the franchise was that it DIDN'T pander to geeks. I really hope this stops.

Hobbit
Sir Ian McKellan has read the script to the Hobbit film(s) and he approves!

Movie stills
Geek out to this great gallery of movie stills.

Iron Fist
So, Marvel has filed some copyrights for Iron Fist. Can a game be far behind? Or a movie?

And finally…
I guess pole dancing can be a sport?

Wha happened to: Diora Baird in Star Trek, the Fallout MMO and more

Fallout MMO
Last year-ish, there was news that Interplay was cooking up a Fallout-based MMO. This seemed like a no brainer, except, of course, that Bethesda owned the rights to anything Fallout-y and had just released the critically-accliamed Fallout 3. So, yeah, they were understandably mad, to say the least and lawsuits ensued. With the legal slugfest underway, we're starting to see what Interplay had in mind and, well, it looks like they get the whole post-nuclear war look the game is known for.

Diora Baird
It's pretty easy to see why dudes like Diora Baird. That needs no discussion. And, actually, it would probably be creepy to discuss it anyway, so it's best we skipped that chat, my friends. When it was announced that Diora would be joining the also easy-on-the-eyes Rachel Nichols as Orions in J.J. Abrams' Star Trek reboot, nerds jizzed in their pants the world over -- even before the various "scenarios" one might imagine occuring between the comely Misses Baird and Nichols in green make-up and little clothing. But again, it wasn't a surprise that Diora would be cast as a sexy green chick. But then a double decker surprise chop sandwich gets served up as J.J. not only cuts out her scene but he cast her as the Orion with the clothes in the first place. WTF?

Sci-Fi TV
Here's an analysis of how science fiction shows are doing on TV this fall. I was happy to see that Fringe may not be in as much trouble as has been discussed recently.

Mass Effect 2
Check out this video of the upcoming BioWare title, which emphasizes combat. While I didn't hate on the original's combat as much as others do, this looks much improved. Also, if you know anything about the original, the new and improved (read: frightening) husks are chilling. I'm not really sure how you would make those more frightening than they already were, but I guess BioWare did it because I am NOT looking forward to that level at all, man.

Batman
This is a great list of the top Batman: The Animated Series episodes. Can't say I can argue with it. And it makes me want to rewatch them all, too.

And finally…
Speaking of Batman, do you watch Community on NBC? If not, you're missing the funniest show on TV right now. Shame on you. This whole sequence based on the Caped Crusader isn't even the sixth funniest part on their recent Halloween episode.